8 years of lies - depression back slide

Avatar for pit_n_kidoodles
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
8 years of lies - depression back slide
2
Thu, 05-20-2004 - 10:38am
My SO and I were talking last night about things that have happened during our seperations (we've had 2). I found out he slept with two women while we were seperated in 2002. He swore to me on our son's life that he had not slept with anyone during that time. I feel like everything that made me fall in love with him was nothing but a lie. I don't know him anymore. I always knew that he was my *ONE*. I always felt that I needed to be more stable and grounded like he is. I let him make me feel like less of a person because I couldn't be a good as he is. It was all lies though. He isn't as good as I thought he was. I've compared myself to this *perfect* man for 8 years of my life. This man I believed was honest, caring, trust-worthy, hard working, and far superior than I could ever hope to be. I let myself wonder why he would ever want to be with a screw up like me when he is so much better than I can even strive to be.

What do I do now. My foundation that was already shaky is now ripped out from under me. My life and my family is not what I thought. Am am such a fool.

~Christy~

Avatar for tmccray
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 05-20-2004 - 10:50am
Oh Christy...you poor thing! It's just soo hard learning that people aren't who we thought they were!

I don't have any major tips or suggestions, but I think therapy is a good option for you! Dealing with betrayal and cheating is some tough stuff!!!

He swore on your son's life that he hadn't slept with anyone, but last night he told you that he had slept with two women??? I don't understand....

I'm a little 'on-edge' today with all the posts on the board about women being let down by their men, and it just makes me crazy!!!!

Therapy for YOU would be a good thing, anyway, because if you've used this man as a model for the type of person you want to be, wellllll.......now you need a new model - BASED ON WHO YOU WANT TO BE!

Think about being the grandest version of your grandest vision of yourself! What do you see!? Work on those things!

Tracie

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2003
Thu, 05-20-2004 - 12:14pm
Christy

Hun you said it best in the title to your post 8 years of lies.......

for 8 years he lied to you and made you feel that you were not much compared to him when in reality you are better than him...being depressed is one thing lying to someone is another thing...you are far better than someone who is going to lie to your face and lie on the honor of your child...for him to do that is making him less human at least to me..

But I do not know the whole situation all I can do is give my input and opinion...

You need to believe in yourself that you are better off without this man...

Maybe he is the reason that you have been so sad I do know that there is such a thing as situational depression and maybe he is the situation that has made you feel so bad I know for me I get down sometimes but when I was sharing a house with my sister and roommate I was far worse off than I am today I can focus more on me and getting back to the person that I know I can be again that person that I lost many years ago maybe for you walking away from this will help you see how great you really are and to help you overcome your demons..

I am sorry if I seemed a little short or mean I am not feeling great today pounding headache..I just wanted you to know that we all care and we are all here for support and a shoulder for you to cry on..

Take care of yourself

Erin