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| Tue, 05-25-2004 - 12:54pm |
My emotions have been out of whack lately. I am going to see my doctor tomorrow and probably go back on antidepressants even though I really don't want to. I cry a lot lately and I know a lot of that is because I am dealing with some things that I have not been able to get a handle on. These are not super big issues but they are causing me to lose sleep, cry and be down right mean. I have been searching for a roommate for a month now and nothing. People make appts. and never show up or call and want to know if their boyfriends can live there too or if I would mind if their two children also lived there. That is frustrating. I have hung flyers, told everyone I know, put ads in papers and on the Internet. I don't get it. My place if really nice and the rent is w/in the normal limits of WDC area. I get a lot of young people who won't live with me b/c I am 38. A girl I spoke with today said she wanted to live with someone her age. While I can understand that to a degree, I am not planning on being someone's mother or nit pick about what they do. My roommate, who I liked a lot (and is 28) moved out today. That is very depressing. It feels almost like a break-up with a b/f. Then I am scared b/c I cannot afford the rent by myself and I have no one to turn to if I cannot. My family does not live near me. I also don't even like the WDC area but cannot afford to move right now. Does anyone else ever feel like there is no where they want to be? I will keep trying to find a roommate, but if you could send some good vibes or prayers my way, I'd appreciate it.
My other problems I have pretty much put on the back burner for now, but they still weigh on my mind and cause me to be depressed. My b/f is most likely moving away (500 miles away). There is a good chance that once he moves our relationship will end. I am not ready for that and do not want that. The other problem - I use to run a lot. This helped with my depression. Now I have stress fractures in both my legs and cannot do much of anything. I still lift weights for my upper body, but running was definitely my high and helped me sort a lot of things out. I can't even walk or stand for very long w/o pain and I can't even find a doctor out there to help me. I am now relying on myself to help them heal.
I just don't like being this way. I worked really hard to get off anti-depressants and take a better outlook on life and now I feel like I am slipping back into the dark.
Please lend me your words of wisdom and/or support to help me over this hump. Thank you for your past support. I do really appreciate it.

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((goodjwitch)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
I am soo sorry you are having all those problems with the roommate situation.
As far as a raise - I just got one, nothing big but I would need a $700/month raise to cover the rent. Another thing that has me bummed is being in debt (long story on that). I feel like a bit of a loser being 38 and not being able to afford to live by myself. That is something I will work on later. Thanks again. :)