Am I at the Wrong Place
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Am I at the Wrong Place
| Wed, 05-26-2004 - 10:59am |
I don't want to sound selfish and maybe I am posting on the wrong board, but I only got one response to my post yesterday. I know that my problems are not as serious as others, but I still hurt. I really have no one to talk to. My friends are always up for a laugh and I am always there for them, but when I have issues they have nothing to contribute. It's hard relying on just myself ALL the time. For the most part I have my depression under control, at least the serious stuff, no more planning my death. So if there is some place else I should post, please let me know. This board just always seemed to have the most caring people. Other boards I have posted on in the past have pretty much given me the 'Dr. Laura' advice. I am just not sure where to turn for support.

I used to come to this board regularly but now I just lurk. I just read your post from yesterday. It does seem like you have a stressful situation on your hands right now which will make your depression worse if you don't take care of yourself.
I took antidepressants off and on since I was a teenager and I finally broke free of them recently. What I learned through therapy was that we are ultimately in control of how we react to stress. ADs can take the edge off and get you in a place where you are better able to handle it. Maybe you should consider speaking to your doctor to see if that's an option. Once you are feeling better you'll find that you can handle difficult situations more easily.
I can totally relate to your concern over not having a roommate to share expenses. I also live in a high-rent area although I found a place cheap enough that I can afford on my own. Is that a possibility for you? You mention that you don't really like DC that much. What's keeping you there? Try to list your options so that you see you really have some. You could: get a second job (yuck), pay a broker or real estate agent to find a roommate so you don't have to do all the leg work, let your landlord know of your current situation and see if they'll help you, look for a new place that is less money, etc. I know it's always easier for someone on the outside to give advice. If you take care of yourself now you'll be better able to help yourself later.
Whatever you do, don't feel like you're alone. Many people experience depression and the slumps that accompany it. You have to believe that there is a way out and there's light on the other side. It took me about 18 years to find it so I know it's not easy.
If you want to chat, you can email me at starente@exite.com
Christine
Christine
CL
Sorry about the lack of responses to your post...and the following is NOT meant to sound trite or like a brush-off.... Sometimes, our own depressions overwhelm us, and it takes everything we have to read posts, let alone respond! Or, we get busy, or your post gets pushed to the bottom next page...
So, if you're not getting the number/variety of responses that you'd like - bump it up, post again, scream at us!!!!!
You know, do you live in a house or an apt? I was just reading something in a magazine last month about this service online that matches up single women (sometimes with kids) to homes...it's kind of a spin off of the 'it takes a village to raise a child' - NOT that you'd be taking care of other women's kids, but it's more of a family atmosphere than the traditional roommate situation. I'll try to find that info, but I might forget or not be able to find it...I can't even remember what magazine it was in!
That's about all I've got right now, because I have to leave work to go to my therapy appt, but keep your chin up! You're going through a lot of stuff right now, and it may seem like you need to make a lot of changes right now, so be nice to yourself!!! Let yourself laze around a tiny bit, and just relax and try to concentrate on the #1 priorities!
We're here for you! Sometimes this board is slower than others, but it is FILLED with loving/caring people who actually DO care about you!!!!
Stick around, and we'll prove ourselves to you!
Tracie
Hi, i can kind of relate to your question.
i tend to look for posts like yours that don't have much response because it seems like what's the point of pouring out your heart if no one is going to pay attention.
prodi_gal
I am going to try to respond to the post as best as I can as per right now I am having huge family problems aunt sick uncle sick me sick so it is very hard for me to respond to posts right now....
You have to try to understand that alot of us here are going thru our own personal hell and sometimes we just do not have the words it does not mean that we do not care that is not it at all and sometimes we just can not relate to what someone is going thru so we read the post and think about that person but when you do not have the words you can not force them out, for me personally I only respond to the posts that I know I can show support to and help someone if I can not support what you are saying or going thru or if I have no idea what to say then I do not post a responce...but that is me..
I also want you to know that the board has been slow these past few weeks really slow there have been times where I have not gotten a responce I just grin and bear it and move on because I know that I am cared about here....
It isnt liek we are ignoring you some people only have a computer at work (like me) so I can only read the posts when at work and if I am not busy which is rare I just do not want you to think that you are not cared for or that you do not matter to any of us...you do matter and you are cared for you just need to be patient with us sometimes..
I know in a time or need tht is hard to do and I know that you are going thru your own personal hell right now and like the first person who replied to your post said when someone else posts a message all teh other ons will get bumped that has happened all the time and sometimes we do not thinkof looking into more posts to see who else has posted I am guilty of doing that...
I am sorry that you feel the way that you do...
We are all a very supportive group of people here and I hope that you will post again..
Erin
I actually had looked at your earlier post. I related to it. I've been in the position of having to find a new roommate a bunch of times. I thought about if I could give you any helpful advice for a few minutes, but I didn't feel like I had anything to say that would be really helpful. Then I went out for most of the day yesterday, so I didn't get back to the board until after midnight, which is when I put up the roll call.
Anyway, I know the frustration of desperately needing a roommate and not finding the right person. I've had people offer to bring in their kids, husband or boyfriend. That wasn't the kind of home I wanted. So I kept looking. I used a roommate finding service one time, but I usually just did the classified thing, which is what it sounds like you are doing. Look at your ad. Maybe there is some way you can change it to attract a wider market. Is the place sunny? Close to public transportation? I've cutomized my ad before and found it helpful as well. Some people only answer ads that sound like exactly what they are looking for, with a private bathroom, good location, light, etc.
It sounds like you are going through some major transitions right now. That is extremely stressful. I'm terrible at change myself. It gets me really down. It makes me feel like everything good is ending and nothing will be good anymore. It's terrible. As another poster said, it can really help to go back on antidepressants temporarily to help you get through a tough time and pull yourself up out of the darkness. Certainly taking some pills for a few months is preferable to sinking deeper and deeper into depression.
I think Christine had some fantastic ideas. She sounds like a very wise woman. If it doesn't stress you out too much, it might be interesting to consider where else you might want to live. Sometimes circumstances in our lives change because the universe is telling us we've outgrown something. I'm not saying that's the case with you, but it's a possibility. I have lived many places in my life (including Georgetown), and I'm so glad that I kept searching until I found San Diego. It's the perfect place for me! I think that where you live can make an enormous difference in your life.
I'm sending you thoughts and prayers.
All My Best,
MariaC
Hi hun!
First off you are definately in the right place!
*hugs
Welcome to our board, Goodjwitch!