Does anyone feel the same as me?
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Does anyone feel the same as me?
| Thu, 05-27-2004 - 11:53pm |
Hello. So far Im the only one I know who feels this way all the time..I always have known someone who I wished I could be, or be more like. I read my journals the other day and noticed that ever since I was a lot younger, there was someone in my life (friend, peer, etc) who I wished I could be. I already knew this before I read the journals but it was so painfully obvious when I read them.
I still feel this way. I know someone in my life who I wish I was. I have never liked myself or my personality. There is one thing that I hope no one tells me..is that everyone thinks other people have better lives but they dont. Please dont tell me that! I know that but I still feel this way. I have tried tactics to change it and it doesnt help. Im living in the past and cannot break free no matter what.
I still feel this way. I know someone in my life who I wish I was. I have never liked myself or my personality. There is one thing that I hope no one tells me..is that everyone thinks other people have better lives but they dont. Please dont tell me that! I know that but I still feel this way. I have tried tactics to change it and it doesnt help. Im living in the past and cannot break free no matter what.
So my question is, do you feel the same as me? I would love to meet someone this way because then I wont feel so alone. Thank you.

I know this isn't the response you were looking for, but felt I had to comment at least.
hugs
Chris
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Mom to furangel, Chelse
another interesting tidbit: when i was younger and i was wishing i was other people, i found out later that there were multiple people wishing they were me.
I still get that way most of the time.....I have nevr been my biggest fan to be honest with you...but as I am getting older I am begining to see that I do not have to fantasize about being someone else because I am okay just as myself....
I look at my friends and some of them are very exotic looking with long beautiful curly hair and big huge beautiful eyes and very cute little figures and they just stand out in a crowd and then there is me I am short kinda dont stand out that is why I colored my hair I needed to have that something different to make me feel good...
But anyways I also look at friends that have someone in their life or who have these amazing jobs and wish I were them but then when I take a step back I see that most of the time I am happier than they are that my life is more together than theirs that I am less stressed then they are ect.....
Remember just because everyone seems better off than you doesnt mean that they are looks can be so decieving..
Learn to love yourself trust me on that one I am the rainng queen on self hatred but I am learning and in no time I hope I will be there and will be able to look at me and like what I see looking back at me ...
Hope I was of help..
Erin
My biggest problem is hating my appearance. I guess others see what's inside of me. I'm too hung up on my outside.
Anyway, just wanted to let you know I'm listening.
Hugs, Lee Anne
Michelle,
I know what you are going though.
Julie
There are still people whose qualities I envy. People who have a lot of energy, who seem to see the positive in everything and welcome change and even situations that would break my heart. I wish I had those qualities or that ability. I don't want to be other people anymore.
What I've tried to do over the years is incorporate the things I liked and envied in other people into myself. I heard at one point that seeing something you admire in someone else means that you have the potential for that in yourself. I didn't believe it, but I think that it's true.
I used to have people envy me sometimes. I don't think anyone has in a long time, though. I'm so open about my struggles that I don't think anyone lives under the delusion that I've got a perfect life!
I heard a couple of years ago that we compare our insides with other people's outsides. That was really big for me. I have always compared myself negatively to others. But most people hide their problems. They put on a big front. Like my sister, who is rich and has everything that she's ever wanted. She puts on these huge parties and sends out cards and pictures of her perfect family. Blah, blah, blah. She is such a nasty, miserable person. She constantly fights with her husband. But I know that most people she knows think is so sweet, fun, and lucky. I swear, when someone else would come into the room, her whole personality would change. She is so fake! She would go from screaming and cussing to being so enthusiastic and funny. It's a big show for her. I got so tired of being screamed at by her that I stopped talking to her completely. I haven't missed her once since then.
I've seen people's dual personalities too often to think that we ever know what's really going on with other people. When I decided to leave my first husband my friends were shocked, upset, and mad at me. They said they thought I had the perfect relationship. They had based their relationships on my marriage! I had a crummy marriage. Really bad. We hadn't even slept in the same room for more than 6 months. We barely even spoke. But I never talked about the bad stuff with my friends out of respect for him. So they thought there was no bad stuff! They never forgave me for leaving him. I realize that I probably should have been honest with my friends, but I was ashamed at how bad my marriage was. I didn't want them thinking less of my husband because I had planned to stay with him.
I think that there is always something we can learn from other people. But no one has that perfect life or perfect personality. I used to be so shy. Slowly, I've learned to be outgoing. Now people I know can't believe I used to be an introvert. It's possible to gain the qualities that you admire in other people. I think that it helps to let other people's good qualities inspire us. That can be hard to do. I've changed envy into inspiration before.
It can sometimes be fun to fantasize about a Freaky Friday type body change. I fantasize about going back in time and changing my past decisions. I know that the healthy thing is to learn from my mistakes and move on. But I find it fun to escape into a dream that I could use magic to erase the mistakes completely. It can't happen. But as long as you don't let those fantasies make you miserable about your current life, I think it's OK just to imagine escaping your life.
That's my two cents,
MariaC