I would like to share my story
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I would like to share my story
| Mon, 06-07-2004 - 9:30pm |
It starts off with just a little background. I grew up an only child of alcholics. I was very sheltered and mom and dad did not get along. Lovely household to say the least. When I was 16 both parents stopped drinking. It was great. They still did not get along well but it was a little healthier. At 18 I moved out and moved in with my bf now my husband. That did not go over well. I was the 'little gir'. At age 21 my mother told me a secret that had been kept from me. My parents had been divorced since I was in the womb. They were going through divorce proceedings when my mom found out she was pregnant. They raised me together. My family is real good at secrets. I hated it and still do. I was married in Aug 2003 at age 24. Hell broke out at my wedding. Fight at the end. Dad involved. Come to find out that a month before the wedding dad started drinking again. Mom warned him that she would not participate in that kind of lifestyle again. She would leave him if it continued. Mom calls me to tell me that she is thinking about retirement and thinking of going to visit my aunt in florida. A few weeks later I get a phone message from my mother saying that she is calling from Virgina and she would call me the next day. She left. Gone. Took everything with her and did not tell a soul. SHe packed everything and told my father that she was taking it to a rummage sale. He and I were devastated. Dad continues drinking. Then dad finds out that he has a tumor on his voicebox. He is no longer working. No money coming in. Has to move out of the house and into a trailer. Decides he can't deal with any of it and does not move anything out of the house except for neccessities. I get phone call from landlord telling me to come and get what I want. Long story goes with that one. Now dad is borrowing money from his mom-gramma. She is on a fixed budget. He is supposedly going to start getting disability every 10 days. Hope so because there is no money left. Wednesday I take him for his biopsy to find out if the tumor is cancer. I am stuck between anger at my father for his addictive and dissapointing selfish ways and overcome by sadness at the thought of losing my father to cancer. Sorry to make this so long but I need some support and would like to enjoy your company on this board.If anyone would like to keep this discussion going I would appreciate it.

Hi Sham!
Unfortunately Im really tired at the moment and should be in bed LOL but I wanted to let you know that I did read your story and thank you for sharing!!
*hugs
I am sorry that your mom just up and went on you and your dad I can imagine how horribel it must be my dad left when I was a baby and continued to come and go in my life and it still kills me...
I am also sorry to hear about your dad and hopefully the biopsy will come out okay and there will be no cancer..I know how hard it is when you have such anger towards someone yet love also and you do not know which way to go with it they are our parents but at the same time they are also our worst enemies....
Are you in therapy? have you discused in length with your therapy about your life I know that it helps so much to talk and to get it out in the open and learn how to move away from all of it and live your life..I wish you the best of luck in that area I know how hard it is..
With your husband is he educated at all with depression..it is a difficult disease to deal with especially when you are the one not suffering from it most epole just feel helpless..I am sure tht if he knew how to help you he would do it maybe leave him so info that he can read about depression that way he can get a better understanding of it...
Also congrats on having a little girl soon...you must be very excited..
And I am sure that you are not neglecting your son...
You sound like such a strong loving person and you will get thru this and be okay..
Once again welcoe to the board..
I hope you post often and we can get to know you better..
Erin
Sweetie, I am sorry that you have had such a rough life. My mom was an alcoholic, I can't imagine having both parents alcoholics.
Do you get any support from your dh?
I can see how you are torn between anger and sorrow over your father. That must be very confusing for you. But just think of how you will feel if your father DOES have a malignant tumor. You will want to cherish the time you have with him, right?
Sorry I have to cut this short. I have to get back to work.
Pamela