Newbie here - needs to vent (poss trigs)
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| Tue, 06-15-2004 - 10:56am |
I've been lurking here for some time, trying to get "brave" enough to say hello. I am 29 years old (soon to be 30 - yuck) with a 16 month old son. I was diagnosed with post partum depression when my son was about 6 months old and have been taking Lexapro ever since. It really helped initially, but now I'm not so sure. Just as an aside - my doctor and I did determine that I was probably depressed prior to my son's birth, and that pregnancy/postpartum probably just exacerbated the issue.
Anyway. I've been working part time (3 days a week). My mother, who works out of her home, stays with my son while I work. Now, my mom has always had "issues" of her own. I'm not sure what she's officially been diagnosed with, other than depression. I'm fairly certain that there were other things too, although we haven't discussed it. The other day she did something with my son that I preferred that she didn't do again (it was really a minor issue), and I told her so. She told me that I needed to get over it, basically. So, we proceeded to have an argument about how she really needed to respect my rules, as I am the mom in this situation. Since then, she's decided that #1: she will now be taking my son to her house on the days she sits for him (she's been caring for him at my house, as her's is NOT babyproofed in anyway), and #2: that the playdates we've been having with the grandchild of a friend of hers will now be on Wednesday (when I'm working) as opposed to Tuesday. So, basically, she's throwing a fit because I told her she was wrong about something.
The problem is that I'm fairly certain I have some mild social anxiety, and I have no idea what to do with my (very active) son when I'm home alone with him. I enjoyed the playdates because it gave me a chance to get out of the house and interact with people I am familiar with. I don't know anyone around me - the one or two friends I do have don't have children and work full time. And I have no money to take him anywhere even if I wanted to. I can't just go to the mall or the library because he hates to be inside and confined. We can play outside at our house for a while, but honestly, it's as boring and lonely as anything for me after a while. And there don't appear to be any neighbors around (we're relatively new to our complex) who have kids his age. Most of the kids around are school age.
I'm just at a loss. I feel like my relationship with my mother is just falling apart because I CAN'T tell her how to care for MY son without her going into a snit. And I'm so afraid that I'm going to ruin my son forever by letting my anxiety rub off on him. I feel like all of the great effects of the Lexapro are wearing off, and I'm right back to where I started.
Anyway - thanks for letting me vent. Sorry it got so long! This seems like a really wonderful place!
Terri
PS: Yes, there is a dad involved here - I have a wonderful, supportive husband who also happens to work 50 hours a week. He's great when he's home, but there are at least 2 full days a week that I'm on my own...

Hi Terri,
I haven't been to this board for quite awhile and when I was lurking today I saw your post. It is great that your husband is supportive, that is always a big plus!
That is a tough situation regarding your mother. Do you think she might understand if you tell her that your son's playdates are your playdates too?
Sorry I cannot be of more help. When I feel lost and can't figure out what to do with a situation I pray.