Losing it
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| Fri, 06-25-2004 - 7:42pm |
I've been experiencing prolonged anxiety attacks. I am 32 years old
and still live with my mother. Don't drink, smoke, no drugs, no sleeping
around. I work full-time, go to Grad school. Last Sunday, I told her that I was
considering getting my own place (after my debt is paid off). She did not take that news too well and told me: "You talk alot of nonsense, stop that kind of talk."
She also told me that "I think our relationship is strained" (Ah, it's not). I think
the reason that I get depressed is because I feel like my opinion
doesn't count with her and instead of expressing what I really feel,
I bury it inside, because of fear of her reaction ( and this makes me feel
nauseated). She's put me in financial debt, and she keeps saying "Well, what do you want me to do,I'm not going to kill myself over it. I don't mind helping mom,
but she wants to control my WHOLE life, I don't mind
advise from her either because she had lived longer than me, but
she tries to LIVE MY LIFE for me. She also has projected on me her negative
thoughts about how I CAN'T do this or CAN'T do that. She'll say "You see,
I knew you were going to mess it up, you don't know how to do it". (And things
aren't messed up she wants to make DECISIONS for me. The only reason I'm staying is
because of the debt but once it's paid off, I NEED to move out. Anytime I mention
marriage or children she says " You're not thinking of me". But I have to think
of MYSELF too. Because I've been conditioned to feel this way, I doubt the decisions I make, based on what mom would think. This situation would not be beneficial to ANYONE living in the world, because there comes a time that people have to depend on themselves. I love my mom, but I have to Live my OWN life. I went to
counseling for this and when mom found out( the counselor called my home) she was
livid and said "Why are you seeing that lady, you've changed ALOT, I don't
know you anymore. There's more, but I'll post it another time. Again, I love
my mother, but I don't like her ways.
Really getting ridiculous. Sorry it was so long.

Hi Sweetie!
I have a mother JUST like that and all I can say is You wont ever have your own Life hun till you Take it!
*hugs
My mom is not too bad now I am 29 and living at home I just moved back at the end of march..so far it isnt so bad I do my own thing and she does her own thing....but it is still living at home withthe woman who made me feel so horrible about myself growing up...
My mom knows that I see a therapist and a shrink I tell her little bits and pieces here and there but not too much info she would not understand anyways she doesnt get the fact that she made me feel horrible my whole life..
My mom never had faith in me never thought I would ammount ot much in my life never showed love never hugged me nothing I still have a huge problem being affectionate with people I get tense and move away when someone tries to hug me....but this is not about me..
I agree with Caly about you continuing to see your therapist she/he will help you become the person that you want to be do not listen to your mom maybe try to become more assrtive with her tell her that you will no longer accept the way she speaks to you that you love her but you deserve to be spoken to with respect...when a parent talks to you in such a low way it is so damaging and hurtful this is your mom she should love and support you...
I wish you continued success with therpay and I hope that your mom grows to accept that you are your own woman and deserve to be treated that way..
Erin