I think I'm seriously depressed...

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2004
I think I'm seriously depressed...
7
Tue, 06-29-2004 - 3:14am
I'm thinking about seeing a counselor at school. I tried two different counselors at my old school, but I felt like they couldn't understand me and that they weren't helping. I've felt depressed on and off for years...maybe since childhood. Nothing really bad, but just enough to make me feel things are wrong. But I'm not sure if I'm making a big deal or anything because I'm functional. I'm not suicidal, though sometimes I would wish I wasn't alive, or that I could sleep all day. Many times I don't want to get out of bed. I don't have a lot motivation to get out and do things, to take care of myself at times, or to get my schoolwork done. I have trouble listening in class and concentrating on readings. I feel overwhelmed by what I have to do and I procrastinate like crazy, but then again, I think most college students do. I feel lonely a lot. I definitely have low self-esteem and feel like people don't care about me a lot of the time, even friends. It's hard enough for me to make myself call people sometimes because I just don't want to talk or don't have anything to say, but it's like they never try to keep in touch with me. They do with each other though. And this happened to me several times. They're always more important to each other than I am to them. I get irritable very easily too and it's hard to control those feelings. I always thought I got that from my mother because she always got angry with me so easily. For a long time I felt very unattractive because of being too skinny and being teased for it among other things. In high school, after being rejected by three different crushes, I felt like crying a lot. I slept a lot then too. I got a bf, wasn't able to treat him well and was also far away from him. I obsessed a lot over my issues with that relationship for years. Now that I left him for someone new, even after 9 months, I still feel depressed and cry about it, even more now then the first couple of months. Sometimes I'll cry two or three times a day about it, listening to music that reminds me of him and I'll feel so guilty. Sometimes I feel so bad that I feel convinced I need help and other times I'll feel fine and wonder if I'm wrong. Most of the time I'm basically okay, I think, despite all the trauma I feel. I'm worse more often when I have PMS. I'm sorry, I know this has been a lot to read, but there's just so much to tell. I really feel like all of this needs to be said so that someone can have an understanding of what's going on before I can trust what they say about something like this. I guess I just want to be able to hear from someone else that I'm not wrong and that I'm justified for wanting to see someone about this. I'd appreciate at least one opinion. Thanks.
Avatar for legs2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Tue, 06-29-2004 - 7:32am
Of course, if you feel you need to see someone, you should see someone. Have you taken the depression quiz at the top of the page? There is also a bunch of articles and workshops that may be of help. It is a process of healing. Every time you make an effort to fight the beast of depression you are taking steps forward. It can be as simple as posting here or reading part of an article. Good for you!!!

Keep posting to us. Many of us here can empathize with the PMS issue. In the research it has been shown that calcium supplements help lessen the symptoms of PMS. Check out some information on www.webmd.com there may be more info there.

Good luck.

Hope to see you post again soon.

Sending hugs and good thoughts your way.

Take care,

Lisa-)

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-15-2003
Tue, 06-29-2004 - 8:50am
Hi sweetie.

There are different degrees of depression, you don't have to be suicidal to be depressed. I myself am not suicidal, but I have thought many a time that I wish I just wouldn't wake up in the morning any more.

Sleeping all day is usually a good sign of depression. It's easier to sleep so your mind doesn't have to think all the time.

So I really encourage you to go see a counsellor at your school. Why not take the depression test that Lisa mentioned, and take it with you?

Take care sweetie.

Pamela

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-06-2004
Wed, 07-07-2004 - 7:08am
i understand what you're saying...most of what you wrote was as if i wrote it myself. i just sort of joined another board for women who are dating men in the military and are separated from them. i'm in md, he's in az...i'm supposed to be moving there in 2 weeks. the last month i have been flipping out (more than usual)...he cheated on me with a girl online with their webcams in january. i stumbled upon it, he didn't tell me. he says it only happened once. sometimes i believe him sometimes i just don't. and i am so worried about getting screwed over again that I go way overboard in trying to find something wrong. so in tryign to protect myself i am hurting him because i make him feel bad which eventually turns to anger. the parallel that i see is that sometimes (or often) i feel like i am about to lose it...screaming and yelling....i don't like to be like that....i don't like hurting him...sorry if i'm rambling....especially since i'm supposed to be offering you advice...i think you should talk to a counselor. if you don't feel comfy with them, then find someone else. that's something that i learned from what my sister has told me about counselors (her experiences). hopefully this helped.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-05-2004
Wed, 07-07-2004 - 2:30pm

Hey there, I really think that you should talk to a therapist, but I would suggest going outside of the school in order to do so.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2003
Tue, 07-20-2004 - 3:37pm
Dear,

You definitely sound depressed to me. I was your age when I had my first major depression. Your symptoms sound like classic depression to me. I suggest you go to your general doctor for a physical to make sure nothing is wrong. (you may have thyroid problems, a virus, etc.) Also ask for a recommendation for a psychiatrist. It is so possible to over come depression. Just be patient, talk therapy can take a while to work. (as well as antidepressants). But eventually all will be better. I promise.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2004
Wed, 07-21-2004 - 12:42am
Hey hun

i read your msg and i have been through that. especially i recall the part about friends always keeping in touch and never relaly making an effort to keep in touch with you. I remmeber i use to ring one of them and theyd all be together and didnt invite me and that would be the worst of worst feelings. I have recovered now pretty much but i still sometimes get down all i can recommend is see someone it will help alot, but you must realise that if your friends are doing that kind of stuff dont waste your time with them as its not that there is anythign wrong with you they are the ones who are selfish and later in life they will get back what they did and realise that they were the ones who made the mistake but i know you can get through this stuff just keep your head up!

xoxo
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-31-2003
Fri, 07-23-2004 - 7:36pm
i feel you somewhat i never felt like i wanted to die or kill myself but everyday life is a bummer sometimes. May I suggest you talk to your doctor you may need something to take the edge off. PMS is enough to handle all my it self and when you get older it will get worse if you can not accept it. I am 48 and have learn to accept PMS in my life I can't give it away LOL. Crying is something I don't do I guess because I'm this stron black Woman wjo wants to save the world. The medication i am taking seems to have eliminated crying wish i could cry I need to address this to my medical doctor. SEE a doctor and takethatgirl to the doctor hope i was helpful