Agrivation

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2003
Agrivation
4
Tue, 07-06-2004 - 10:21am
Hey everyone.......

I am so mad right now well not really mad just confused I guess..

My sons step mother calls me yesterday and tells me that she found a letter that I had wrote to my sons dad like 5 years ago he was engaged to a woman named Sonia at the time whom he met while I was waiting for him to move out to Connecticut with me and out son he cheated on me with Sonia so anyways Sonia abused my son badly I founf that out maybe three years ago after it all happened and Jeremy dumped Sonia so anyways when Jeremy was with Sonia and I still had custody of my son I was not getting any support from eremy he was not sending me money calling to see how his son was doing ect...when I would call him Sonia would hang up on me if I left a message on their voice mail she would erase it and so forth needless to say I was out for blood after all of that...

I have my breakdown my sons grandmother and aunt(Jeremys mother and sister) come out to Connecticut to pick up Jakob for a VISIT turns out his mother was not planning on returning my child to me and hired a lawyer for his son...to take my son away from me needless to say I am out for blood yet again.....but I will not act on it so Stephanie calls me and tells me she found this letter and appoligizes to me that I went through all of that even though she was not with Jeremy at the time nor did she know him at that time..anyways she feels horrible she told me she had no idea that things were like that 5 years ago that Jeremy and I did not speak for almost 2 years that I went thru a living hell for three years....

So Stephanie goes on to tell me tht Jeremys mom painted this picture of me as a horrible mother and that she was so happy that Jeremy met Stephanie cause Jakob needed a mother and I know this to be true I was told tht Jeremys mother said that to someone else that I know...Jeremys mother tells Stephanie that I just dumped Jakob that I did not want him ect......that I am a bad person BLOOD I am out for BLOOD..........

So in one week I will be seeing jeremy and his mom I am not upset with jeremy at all he and I have a great friendship and he knows he messed up big time he has yet to sppoligize for what he put me through but as much as I want one from him I do not expect it maybe when I am out there he will say sorry to me but I am not going to hold my breathe he knows that he messed up he knows that I know that me messed up and he knows that his wife knows that he messed up nd that she is disappointed in him but he admitted he was wrong he admitted that he hurt me alot he admitted that he is glad that we now have a good friendship....

I am just afraid that I am going to go off on his mother

But I will do my best to be good and hold my mouth shut..

Oh ya I quit smoking also so I am a little on edge but not too bad doing good with

the cravings and reminding myself how good I will feel soon how the smell of smoke is nasty and I keep smelling my hair I never realized that my shampoo smelled so good..I love it and my perfume wow it smells great so I keep smelling my hair and arms

and I have a baggie of wet ciggarrett butts they look so nasty and smell even worse so I look at them and I smell them when I get the urge to smoke plus I am chewing cinnamon gum which for some reason helps also someone told me about chewing it that it does something for you so it is day one so far so good wish me luck with this ladies and thanks for letting me vent about jakobs grandmother oh ya 7 more days til I see my angel face...

Love you all

Erin

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-15-2003
In reply to: irisheyes1975
Tue, 07-06-2004 - 12:44pm
(((Erin)))

I just wanted to say that you are so lucky that Stephanie is such an awesome woman. It takes a pretty big person to be nice to a person's ex, who is also the mother of his child.

Now for his mom. What a wench!! I don't know what I'd do in your situation, but I know I wouldn't be pleased either!!

Take care sweetie.

Pamela

BTW, congratulations on quitting smoking!! What an awesome achievement!!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2003
In reply to: irisheyes1975
Tue, 07-06-2004 - 5:07pm
Thanks Pamela,

Ya Stephanie is awesome her and I hit it off right away it was never about trying to get along with each other..just as you said it takes a big woman to get along with her husbands ex it goes both ways in most cases but it was just natural for us I guess....I do not consider her jakobs step mother I consider her my friend, like I said we were not forced to get along it just happened that way..

Thanks for the show of support

I appreciate that

Erin
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2004
In reply to: irisheyes1975
Thu, 07-08-2004 - 6:00pm
Hi Erin--

Been away for a little while, and this is the first post I've read of yours, so sorry if I didn't reply to any others you've written in the past week. Congratulations on quitting smoking! That letter must have been very hard for Stephanie to read, but I'm sure you two will be better friends for it. Don't let Jeremy's mom ruin your time while you're there! So excited for you to see Jakob! Hope you have good weather for playing outside!

hugs and love

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2003
In reply to: irisheyes1975
Tue, 07-13-2004 - 6:03pm
hey sweetie, sorry i haven't been around and it sounds like stuff has been crazy for ya with your ex. i think you are a very strong person for the things you have been through and that you have weathered the storms and come out on the other side. i didn't know about the woman who abused jakob, that is horrible i am so sorry that happened. you are all lucky that she is gone now. as for jeremy's mom- i know it is easier said than done- but you can't let words hurt you. i am sure you haven't had much contact with this woman recently and she doesn't know what kind of relationship you have with your son or who you are really. i think it is common for moms to be super protective of their sons and critical of women they are with that they feel like are a bigger part in their sons life than they are. i know a family who is like that about their daughter;s husband- he is a great guy and a great dad and they use anything they can against him because they hate that he has his own family with her and they are kind of the outsiders of it. maybe i am rambling, but the point is- you are a great person and a great mother. if this woman says any differently, then let her spit her venom- she doesn't know. i know it is hard not to yell at her, but think of your son and "kill her with kindness" as my mom used to say- be super nice to her while thinking how much you hate her and if you are nice it will kill her that she has nothing bad to say about you and if she tries to she just looks like the bad person. be excited about seeing your little angel and don't let anyone take that happiness away from you!