Can't stop thinking about Past
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Can't stop thinking about Past
| Mon, 07-12-2004 - 11:09am |
Hi there,
I wanted to ask for some advice for a problem I've been having regarding something that happened in my past. I was friends with somebody that ended up hurting me very badly. But what's worse is I ended up hurting him as well, and it ruined our friendship. To this day, I still have nightmares about what happened with this friend. I really miss him too. I don't think about it during the day at all, but the situation ends up popping up in my dreams at least once a week. In my dreams I'm always trying to resolve things with this friend. I wake up feeling really depressed and unhappy. This is something that happened EIGHT years ago...I don't understand why my brain has to keep reminding me of the incident. I still have minimal contact with this person through email and have thought that maybe trying to address my concerns would make the dreams go away....but I really don't think he'd be open to that discussion and probably wouldn't even answer me. I know what happened can't be fixed.
I wanted to ask for some advice for a problem I've been having regarding something that happened in my past. I was friends with somebody that ended up hurting me very badly. But what's worse is I ended up hurting him as well, and it ruined our friendship. To this day, I still have nightmares about what happened with this friend. I really miss him too. I don't think about it during the day at all, but the situation ends up popping up in my dreams at least once a week. In my dreams I'm always trying to resolve things with this friend. I wake up feeling really depressed and unhappy. This is something that happened EIGHT years ago...I don't understand why my brain has to keep reminding me of the incident. I still have minimal contact with this person through email and have thought that maybe trying to address my concerns would make the dreams go away....but I really don't think he'd be open to that discussion and probably wouldn't even answer me. I know what happened can't be fixed.
Do I need to see a therapist about this? Is this normal? Like I said, I ususally don't even think about my ex-friend when I'm awake so I'm not obsessing about this during the day...but the past keeps replaying in my dreams and it's driving me crazy! Any suggestions? I'm getting really tired of this dream. I want to just come to some closure on this and I don't know how.
Any suggestions?

Hope that helps!
Elise
Hugs, Brenda
Hugs, Brenda
I was in a similar situation for over 2 years and I did seek out therapy to help deal with it. One of my assignments was to actually write him a letter letting him know how adversly the situation was effecting me. I told him about going over the situation again and again in my mind as well as about the nightmares. I also told him that the letter was not written to seek forgiveness or set things right between us. It was written to help me get over the trauma our falling out had left me with. I also told him he didn't have to respond and he never did, but I feel much better having explained to him just what impact our lack of friendship was having on me. The ball was left in his court (so to speak) to respond or at least meet me half way. I know I said everything I could to try and set things right and since writing that letter I am more at peace with what transpired.
I hope you find peace with your situation.
I'm here if you need anything at all! Email me thru my profile if need be!
LOL,
Chris
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Mom to furangel, Chelse
I have a favorite saying "even God cannot change the Past." What is done is done. I know I have brooded about the past many times but it is a useless exercise. Why do you have contact with your ex love at all? Are you obsessing about the relationship because you do not have a happy relationship now?? Remember affairs of the heart can often be disasters. WE HAVE all had relationships where we did crazy things and hurt people. However, since we cannot redo the past we can only learn from our mistakes and go on. Go see a therapist and find out why you will not let this go.
Good luck.
SA