THIS CANNOT BE HAPPENING TO ME!!
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| Tue, 07-13-2004 - 7:24pm |
I am in the most emotionally explosive state that I have ever been in my entire life, at this very moment. For the past month or so I have been a minefield of emotions. I am usually the most laid back person in the entire world. I am so "happy go lucky", and if you asked a single person who knew me if I was depressed they would laugh out loud. Because it's just not like me. But the thing is...I'm afraid that it is me, now. I am literally up one minute, down the next, then down even more. Then back up, and back down...like a rollercoaster. I cry for no reason whatsoever, and I feel like I have absolutely no control over my emotions at all, and I just can't seem to shake this!!
I have been with the same boyfriend for the past two years and I love him very much. The "butterflies" are long gone, and we're in a very comfortable state right now. Which makes me sad on a lot of levels, but secure in our relationship. I can't help but think that our relationship is the cause of some of the problems, but not all.
Lately I have become so so so obsessed with my body that i have literally been trying to "speed up" weight loss in a way that I know I shouldn't. The other day I went to buy a bathing suit and literally burst into tears at the thought of getting into one...
Is this just crazy behavior?? More than that...where did it come from. I don't really have a history of this kind of behavior. I used to have anxiety attacks in college, but was able to talk with someone about them and get them under control. I rarely have them any more...but on some level this seems completely different from that.
I know I'm just rambling, but can anyone tell me...is this a cause for concern? And if so...what do I do?? I refuse to take any drugs for anything like this, and I can't afford therapy...so what does that leave me with??

Hi hun!
Welcome!
Well Im not sure if what Im going to say is what you want to hear or not but Im not sure what else to say.
I think the first thing you need to do is go see your primary care Doctor and rule out anything "medical" or "physical" for your sudden mood swings, since you say they came on so suddenly.
*hugs
(((((Laura))))), what you're doing is very definitely cause for concern.
One of the things that a past therapist had me do for awhile was to keep a mood journal.
Hope you feel better soon!
~Nicola
If not a type of clinical depression or other medical issue, your moods may be affected by your birth control pills. Did you recently change prescriptions or stop or start taking them? There are some to be known to have a more intense effect on moods. I was on bc pills a few years ago that put me completely over the edge. Alone, they were mood-altering and coupled with depression, just not what I needed to be taking! The fact that you are experiencing changes in your sleep etc. make me think that bc pills wouldn't be your only problem, but they may be part of it.
I'm really happy for you in that you are able to recognize that something isn't right. I strongly urge you to see a doctor, or two, (incl. a thyroid check), and keep an open mind about whatever solution is going to work for you. Good luck!