THIS CANNOT BE HAPPENING TO ME!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2004
THIS CANNOT BE HAPPENING TO ME!!
6
Tue, 07-13-2004 - 7:24pm
I am almost reluctant to even post this message because I am so afraid of what someone might tell me, but I am in such a desperate state to uncover some answers that I just have to.

I am in the most emotionally explosive state that I have ever been in my entire life, at this very moment. For the past month or so I have been a minefield of emotions. I am usually the most laid back person in the entire world. I am so "happy go lucky", and if you asked a single person who knew me if I was depressed they would laugh out loud. Because it's just not like me. But the thing is...I'm afraid that it is me, now. I am literally up one minute, down the next, then down even more. Then back up, and back down...like a rollercoaster. I cry for no reason whatsoever, and I feel like I have absolutely no control over my emotions at all, and I just can't seem to shake this!!

I have been with the same boyfriend for the past two years and I love him very much. The "butterflies" are long gone, and we're in a very comfortable state right now. Which makes me sad on a lot of levels, but secure in our relationship. I can't help but think that our relationship is the cause of some of the problems, but not all.

Lately I have become so so so obsessed with my body that i have literally been trying to "speed up" weight loss in a way that I know I shouldn't. The other day I went to buy a bathing suit and literally burst into tears at the thought of getting into one...

Is this just crazy behavior?? More than that...where did it come from. I don't really have a history of this kind of behavior. I used to have anxiety attacks in college, but was able to talk with someone about them and get them under control. I rarely have them any more...but on some level this seems completely different from that.

I know I'm just rambling, but can anyone tell me...is this a cause for concern? And if so...what do I do?? I refuse to take any drugs for anything like this, and I can't afford therapy...so what does that leave me with??

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
Tue, 07-13-2004 - 7:37pm

Hi hun!


Welcome!


Well Im not sure if what Im going to say is what you want to hear or not but Im not sure what else to say.


I think the first thing you need to do is go see your primary care Doctor and rule out anything "medical" or "physical" for your sudden mood swings, since you say they came on so suddenly.

*hugs             

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-27-2004
Tue, 07-13-2004 - 9:33pm

(((((Laura))))), what you're doing is very definitely cause for concern.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2004
Wed, 07-14-2004 - 11:08am
Thank you all for your feedback! I have thought about it, and I've talked to a friend of mine who is going to help me find a local "support" agency, to see if I can get in to talk to someone about it. The thing is, what concerns me most is my destructive pattern of emotion. I can't believe how quickly I can go from being completely happy, to being totally depressed. I've actually been to a doctor to have blood work done recently b/c I sleep a TON! But they couldn't find any deficiencies in my blood so I guess I just wrote that idea off. Would anyone suggest keeping some type of journal or something or how I'm feeling. It just sounds like it might be a good idea to me...does anyone else do that?
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2003
Wed, 07-14-2004 - 11:39am

One of the things that a past therapist had me do for awhile was to keep a mood journal.

Avatar for mumontherun
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Wed, 07-14-2004 - 11:39am
Hi! You have such a cute screen name; is your name really Laura Ashelei? I don't have much to add to what was already said, but when you had your blood test, did you get your thyroid checked? An underactive thyroid can cause fatigue, weight gain and mood swings and is easily treated with medication.

Hope you feel better soon!

~Nicola

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 07-15-2004 - 7:37am
Hi, I agree with the others in that your moods and sleep patterns are a serious concern. Does your employer have any kind of assistance program that can get you to a psychiatrist for free or minimal charge? The drastic moods and issues with sleep and diet all seem to point to a type of depression and it needs attention. I am a case of untreated depression right now and, trust me, you don't want to be here. Depression can get much more painful and much more damaging when it isn't treated properly - even if properly means meds (which I don't like either).

If not a type of clinical depression or other medical issue, your moods may be affected by your birth control pills. Did you recently change prescriptions or stop or start taking them? There are some to be known to have a more intense effect on moods. I was on bc pills a few years ago that put me completely over the edge. Alone, they were mood-altering and coupled with depression, just not what I needed to be taking! The fact that you are experiencing changes in your sleep etc. make me think that bc pills wouldn't be your only problem, but they may be part of it.

I'm really happy for you in that you are able to recognize that something isn't right. I strongly urge you to see a doctor, or two, (incl. a thyroid check), and keep an open mind about whatever solution is going to work for you. Good luck!