Can't stop crying
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Can't stop crying
| Sun, 07-18-2004 - 2:18am |
The title probably says a lot, but it is true. I can't stop crying. I have three children. Two are college age, the youngest in grade school.The older two have been angry with me for a long time. I won't go into the why's , but everyone who knows the situation say the kids have a lot of growing up to do. I guess so, because they have not seen me in a long time. Phone calls occasionally, but they are always short and to the point. They have spent their off time from school with friends. My son told me he no longer considers me to be his mother. My daughter probably feels the same way, but hasn't said it yet. I have tried everything to reconcile with them, but they won't have anything to do with it. Today was a breaking point, I guess. I cried all day, and can't sleep now because I lay awake and think about them. I thought they would come home someday, but that's not going to happen.
I take an antidepressant. I started it because of this situation several months ago, and it has helped. But I'm not sure it's working anymore. I've had some terrible, frightening thoughts today. Thoughts that no person who is in their right mind should have, but yet they are there. I don't really expect anyone to reply to this, I just need to get it out somehow. And hope that it helps. Peace.
I take an antidepressant. I started it because of this situation several months ago, and it has helped. But I'm not sure it's working anymore. I've had some terrible, frightening thoughts today. Thoughts that no person who is in their right mind should have, but yet they are there. I don't really expect anyone to reply to this, I just need to get it out somehow. And hope that it helps. Peace.

Sending hugs and good thoughts your way.
Take care,
Lisa-)
My prayers and thoughts go out to you!
Rebecca
My point is, hang in there! It took me 9 years to get over the pain and let bygones be bygones, but maybe it won't take so long for your kids to "get over it" - whatever "it" is. Besides - do you remember the changes your brain went through when you became a parent, and suddenly your mom began to make a whole lot more sense? I wonder if becoming a parent will help change the way they see you. Whatever triggers the change, it may take some time, but it does get better. Meanwhile, get tough and refuse to let it get you down, stand your ground, always treat them with kindness no matter how they treat you, and wait it out. Spend lots of time with the youngest, too. That could help get your mind off of things.
Good luck! I hope you don't have to wait too long.
Lucy