Marriage in trouble????

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-13-2003
Marriage in trouble????
3
Sun, 07-18-2004 - 5:55pm
This is very personal and I almost didn't post it but I need some advice. It seems lately that DH can't stand to be around me and our son. I'm also pregnant with our second baby and he doesn't seem happy about it. It seems like the least thing sets him off. He has never touched either of us,but he rips my heart to shreds. He talks about me like a common farm animal. How his life is miserable and how I am "wacked" and "evil" and he calls me a b....you know what the rest of the word is. He also talks about what a bad mother I am. I try my best to make him happy,but maybe he is right about me. He always comes back in a few minutes and tells me how sorry he is and that he didn't mean it. But this is right aftre he tells us that his life is miserable and he rather kill himself than to live with me. And he shouts the most vulgar language that you have ever heard. But then like I said he is akways sorry and claims he didn't mean any of it. What am I doing wrong? I tryt not to make him mad but if I say the least thing wrong he gets mad. I really don't want a divorce. I wouldn't even know how to make it on my own,plus I have my kids to think about. But,I don't know how much longer I can shake what he says to me off. If I try to talk to him about how he makes me feel it is just another temper tantrum. Like I said he doesn't hit me he just tears my heart out. How can he love me and talk to me like that? Any advice?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2003
Sun, 07-18-2004 - 7:10pm

Sweetie,


What he is doing is emotional abuse, plain and simple.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 07-19-2004 - 1:33am
Holly, I agree with Trac 100 percent...what he is doing is wrong, and it's not your fault. I know it must be hard to consider divorce or separation, but living with a man who treats you this way will be horrible for both you and the kids. Please do check into those resources Trac mentioned...I'll be thinking about you...you deserve much better.

Hugs,

Rose

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-11-2004
Mon, 07-19-2004 - 4:45pm
Oh my gosh, I totally agree with your other 2 replys. Please go and get out of there, you are being abused. Hes really done a number on you, not only are you in a bind worrying about leaving him and thinking that you can't but you're agreeing with his horrible comments to you.

Leave him NOW!!! Pack up your son and your belongings and go to a shelter or a trusted friend or family memeber. Your husband needs help, what he is saying to you is so wrong and cannot be further from the truth. I will escalte into physical abuse eventually, to either you or your children. Get out now while you can, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!

Take care of yourself and your children, worry about the money and all that later, for now leave!!!

Hugs,

Pam