Hard Days(trigs)
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| Mon, 07-19-2004 - 11:41pm |
My mother's health has gone down for the last couple years and after dealing with multiple surgries and rehabs and hospitalizations, my sister and I did what we never wanted to do, we admitted her to a local nursing home 7 min. drive from my home, the help is so good to her and I go everyday to see her and bring her whatever she wants or needs for me to bring, I try very hard to make up for the fact she has had to go into a long term care situation, but she is having none of it and has made me and my sister feel like we are the worse daughters that could ever be. I break out in a sweat when I have to go and see her but I go because if I didn't she would have no one to see about her, my sister has about given up, to make matter worse relatives that has NEVER offered one time to help us with anything these last ten years has come out of the woodwork let us know they don't approve of what we (and her doctor) have done and that we should hire siters to stay with her 24/7 there is just one problem with this, there is no money for this, we had to help mother with bills after Dad died. A lady from my church that I had confided in about all this (because her mother was in the nursing home for 4 years) goes and asks my mother when she is coming home! This sets my mother off and tells me my church friends are turning against me for what I have done. I am drowing in emotions. My husband, my son that has Asperger's Syndrome (high functioning autism) needs me too. I have an adult son that uses drugs and drinks way too much and I try to keep a watch on him. I'm sorry this is so long but I just had to ask "Am I a bad person"? My mother says God is going to punish me for what I have done, she doesn't count all the hospital, doctor and rehab centers I have been through with her? All taking care of doctor appointments, medicine and house cleaning, errand running we have done for her. I feel like I tried but I have failed her, my husband and both my sons. I am sorry this is long.

(((((((((((((((((Bamagirl2004))))))))))))))))))))))
I don't think you are a bad person for taking this choice.
Linette