Just wanted to check in.....(triggers)

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2004
Just wanted to check in.....(triggers)
4
Tue, 07-20-2004 - 12:18pm
Sorry for not posting prior to being away from the computer for a couple weeks, but things got worse and I ended up leaving sooner than expected. I'm in Alberta now and I'm not doing very well. I'm trying to crawl through each day and my family out here is trying to keep me busy so my mind doesn't wander too much. I've got a GP and a Psychiatrist set up out here. I haven't seen either of them yet, but I go to the GP next Monday and the P Doc the following Monday.

Most of the time I just wish that I would have stayed home and just layed down and given up. All the pain and hurt would be gone and I wouldn't have to keep feeling this way. With everything that's gone on in the past month, never mind the last 6 to 7 years I just can't take it anymore. I'm homesick, but I have no home to go too. My family's torn apart and I miss my daughters, my marriage is over and even though he's done some pretty awful things I miss him. My family in NS and out here are pressuring me to move indefinitely out here and I am feeling trapped which puts my anxiety at a very high level. There are just so many other things going on too like my credit rating which is totally ruined and I have no idea how I'll ever get that back. I'm too tired and don't want to continue on with this journey, knowing I have nothing but hurt and pain for the next who knows how long.

Sorry to sound so negative. I was just going to post and let you know I made it out here. Thanks for listening.

Take Care,

Ellen

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-11-2004
Tue, 07-20-2004 - 3:39pm
((((((((((((((((((((ELLEN))))))))))))))))))))))

I'm so sorry that things aren't going very good for you and that you're so low right now. I'm new here, so I'm not familar with you. I just wanted to drop in and send you TONS of positive thoughts and a ton more ((((HUGS))))

Take care of you!!

Hugs,

Pam

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-15-2003
Tue, 07-20-2004 - 5:09pm
(((Ellen)))

Glad that you made it out to Alberta.

Sending hugs and well wishes from Manitoba.

Pamela

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2003
Wed, 07-21-2004 - 8:49pm
as much as you may not feel like it right now, you are such a strong person. i know how it feels to be so low and feel like everything is wrong and you have no home. i can tell you one thing- there is no way to go but up. it sounds like there are a lot of people that love you there and you should be happy for that. it also sounds like you are trying to get help for yourself which is great. just like me, you are your own worst enemy when you need to be your own best friend. good luck, i know you'll be ok!
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2004
Thu, 07-22-2004 - 12:54pm
Thank you for all the support. It truly means a lot.

I hope everyone is doing well.

Take Care,

Ellen