When Is Enough, Enough?
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| Tue, 07-20-2004 - 5:52pm |
My mother is a long time alcoholic and drug user. She is very abusive when she either drinks or smoke pot. (Her drug of choice) I've suffered physical and emotional abuse from her for years. My grandmother thinks that as long as she is my mother and has an excuse, I have to put up with it because everyone will frown on me if I try to leave her alone.
Last week she told me that she wants me to take over managing her money and other affairs. I told her that I wanted to talk it over with my brother first before we do this behind his back. (My brother has done an excellent job of being the contact person between all the programs and hospitals my mother has been in these past few decades) This set my mother off. She started screaming, yelling and cursing at me. While I was walking her to the store, she threaten to physically harm me. (For the record, she couldn't even if she wanted to. Although I'm no Superman, she has abused her body to the point that I'm pretty sure my muscle is stronger then hers)
Every stranger we passed my mother said something derogetory about me. I was embarassed but I couldn't fight back. It hurt like hell and then I realized that she was abusing me the same way she had when I was a child. Now I've grown into a needy adult with low self esteem issues and depression.
Ever since I started living with my grandmother, she has made me visit my mother whenever she gets herself into trouble. (Which is fairly often) I'm tired of having to deal with this all the time and would like to finally get away from it. My question is: do I have the right to stopping seeing my mother? When can I finally step away and say "Enough! You have no right to abuse me just because 35 years ago you had sex and 9 months later I popped out."?
For the record, my mother has never raised me. I was bounced between foster homes and relatives. So this is another reason why I think I have the right to separate myself from her.

((((((((((((((((((((((((((tequilatax)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
Sweetie,