Going to Hospital

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Going to Hospital
7
Thu, 07-29-2004 - 10:45pm
I don't know why I'm even posting. I get on to try to post replies---but I just seem to not have any helpful advice at all. Then I hate to post for myself because I'm not 'helping' anyone else. But right now I need to talk to people who understand. My latest depressive episode has been going on for weeks now and I have begun all the intense housecleaning that always comes right before my suicide attempts. (I'm a perfectionist and can't imagine dying without the house being perfect) Good grief! I'm insane as well as depressed.

Anyway---I saw my therapist yesterday and things are better with her so I really let her know how bad it is right now. That led to my pdoc calling today and talking to me for a while. I finally agreed to go into the hospital tomorrow and they are going to try to change my meds again under a controlled situation. He promised no ECT and I trust him (plus I have to agree---they won't do it without my consent).

I really don't want to go, but I am having a harder and harder time dealing with everything. I fall apart over every little thing and my eyes burn all the time from all the crying.

There is suppose to be a bed available tomorrow, so I'm going over in the morning.



Well, I guess that's all. Debbie

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2003
In reply to: flute54
Thu, 07-29-2004 - 10:54pm

(((((((((((((((((((((((Debbie))))))))))))))))))))))))))


Sweetie, I am sending you lots of big hugs

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
In reply to: flute54
Thu, 07-29-2004 - 11:01pm
Thanks Trac, I'm sending you hugs and angels too---I know you've got tons going on with work and life in general! :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
In reply to: flute54
Fri, 07-30-2004 - 12:12am
Debbie, I'm so sorry that you've been struggling so much lately...but I'm glad you were able to talk about it and that you will hopefully get the help you need. As for your posting here, your support has always been very helpful to me...I'm amazed you even managed to post to me today when you are feeling so bad. And it's only natural for you to post when you feel down...we want to be able to support you too.

Best of luck at the hospital...I'll be thinking of you,

Rose

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-01-2004
In reply to: flute54
Fri, 07-30-2004 - 8:43am
(((((Deb)))) You are contributing. I am always glad to hear from you. This is a place of caring and support. We don't keep score. We are here for you. Simple as that.

Besides you posted to Rose, I saw how sweet you are! You are always caring.

Now is the time for you to take some caring. From the folks here and at the hospital. It is ok, to take the hugs from us, we of all people understand the pain that is inside.

As for wanting to clean, not insanity that makes you do that. You are a considerate human, and although it is misguided, the reasons are not so good, you are just being true to yourself. Come here and do that (my apartment could use you!), but don't think for a second that I would let anyone take my friend Deb from me. *sticks out tongue* Selfish, I know, to want to keep you, but that is how I feel. I am not alone in this.

Sending hugs and good thoughts your way.

Take care,

Lisa-)

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2003
In reply to: flute54
Fri, 07-30-2004 - 8:43am
(((((((DEBBIE))))))))

I will keep you in my thoughts while you are gone.

Alanna

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2003
In reply to: flute54
Fri, 07-30-2004 - 10:22am
Debbie,

I am happy to hear that oyu are taking care of you...

I know that the hospital sucks but at least you are doing something that is going to help you..

I am sending oyu a ton of hugs and I will be holding you in my thoughts

Good luck and please post to us as soon as you get home so that way we know how you are doing..

By the way dont worry about posting to vent when we are at our lowest times it is hard ot help anyone else I am more than positive that everyone here understands considering we have all been there before...

Good luck and take care of you

Erin

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
In reply to: flute54
Fri, 07-30-2004 - 8:29pm

Deb!


Im sending a bunch of Pocket Hugs for you to take with you!

*hugs