What's worked for you? possible triggers
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| Mon, 08-02-2004 - 1:02pm |
I have four small children under the age of six, a husband working on a master's and myself in school. I'm having a hard time finding friends that are willing toi help with my kids so I could get an hour here or there to myself. It seems that all my "friends" are so busy with there lives. I've ask a couple of times if they could what my kids so I could get away for and hour or two but to no avail. I've only know most of these ladies for the two months I've lived here. i see them help each other out. I've tried all different times of day I've ask with plenty of notice, at least a day or two in advance. Any suguestions? I don't have any family that lives close by.
Speaking of family. I've told my husbands family that I suffer from depression but they haven't been very suppportive. They feel sorry for me, but mostly for my husband and my children. how ever when ever we go to visit none of them are willing to help out. i don't ask for much. If I'm having a bad day I let them know in advance. All I ask them to do is to help with the kids on occasion. You know get them a drink if they ask, push them on the swing, or if absolutly neccisary change the baby's diaper. (it's one thing that will send me over the edge on a bad day.) my mom and my sister sufer from depression them selves so we're there to support each other all the time.
One more thing. How do I gain control of my house? I have no motivation to do anything. I start loading the dish washer put it becomes over whelming. so I end up being to up set the rest of the day to accomplish even the very small things. THe laundry doesn't get done, the floors don't get sweept or vaccumed, let alone mopped. I look around my house and it looks like a tornado hit it. I'd really appreciate tips that have worked for you.
Any suggestions? Am I asking to much of people? how do I ask with out seeming needy?
Jill

As for your inlaws why dont you have your husbandspeak with them about babysitting onc and a while, helping out is one thing but there is no obligation for them to watch your children for your they have the right to say no, and once again 4 kids under age 6 is alot to ask someone to do.....but the best bet would to have your husband speak with your inlaws that way he is the voice of reason between you and the inlaws and he may have the ability to reach something with them that you are unable to reach...my family doesnt ebnd to me when I am depressed the make sure that I am not catered to at all they made sure I got up and out and did right by my son when he was a baby my mom didnt change him or feed him or any of those things she knew that if she did those things for me that I would never get out of bed or get better.....
I am again very sorry for the way I am coming across but you asked if you were asking alot of people and in a way yes because you have 4 children who are very young and for me personally I am only 29 I have the energy to handle children but 4 is too much for me to be around and maybe that is the case for your inlaws and friends I know things are tough for you but you also have to put yourself in thier shoes also...your side of the family understands cause they are depressed also but maybe this in laws and friends thing is helping more than you think cause in a way you are being forced to do things I know that you have dishes and what not but at least try to complete one task a day baby steps like making sure you are the sole care giver for your kids cleaning the dirty dishes laundry ect...make one task a day and see if that helps you but make sure that you complete it.....
WOW hun! You have a lot on your plate!
Welcome to the board!
My suggestion for getting stuff done around the house is set aside one day for each major chore.
*hugs