my friend is desparate for help severe!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2001
my friend is desparate for help severe!
4
Fri, 08-06-2004 - 11:55am
hi

i am actually here for a long time friend of mine. her daughter is going tobe 18 this month. she suffers so badly from severe anxiety and depression that she cannot leave her home to even attend school. she has no friends at all and she has been for sometime making herself vomit. my friend is so scared for her daughter. she has had her to several different doctors and all all kinds of meds. most meds make her sleep all the time or have such side effects that her daughter gets scared to death something is wrong. if the meds give her a bad headache she thinks she has a brain tumor and if her stomach hurts she thinks something eles is wrong. she thinks she is having a heart attack all the time. she is in such a severe state of panic all the time. she is such a wonderful loving girl. when she does come to church she always tells everyone how much she loves them and hugs everyone. she can never make it a whole service , she can sometimes make sunday school and by then she has to leave. her life is nothing but panic and fear. the doctor told my friend the other day if she commited sucicide they would hold her the mother accountable because she won;t make her take the meds anymore. she said they made it worse or made her like a zombie. i hate seeing my friends hurt this way. does anyone at all have any suggestions. i talked my friend into taking her to a doctor that just started a new practice here and we know him personally and he is a good christian man. maybe he will understand and can help. if you have any suggestions please let me know so i can let her know.

thanks

teresa in ky.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-11-2004
Fri, 08-06-2004 - 1:03pm
((((teresa))))

Oh my, what a horrible situation for your friend to be in, this must be crushing her heart to bits. (((hugs to your friend)))

I hope she realizes how lucky she is to have you for a friend!!! I think its wonderful that you've come here looking for help. ((hugs))

Now, in my personal opinion, this is what your friend should do. Take her daughter to the that new Dr ASAP!!!!!!!! OR she could take her to the old one, and insist that something be done right away. Some meds do make you very sleepy, and zombie like, I like to refer to it as the grey stage. Been there, and its pretty lame, your not happy, your not depressed your more awake and asleep at the same time, I felt blah ALL the time. If your friend cannot get her daughter in to see either the new or old one (although I think with your connections to him, and under the circumstances, you would probably be able to pull some major strings with this) I would take her to the ER right away.

Your friends daughter sounds very very sick and she needs more help than she is getting right now. If she was prescribed meds, she should be taking them, OR if the Mother feels they aren't helping or the side affects are too severe, she should be getting others instead. I don't mean to sound harsh, but I was very fearful reading your post. Even mentioning suicide puts me on instant alert!!!

Thanks so much for your post, please update us when you can.

Take care, and thanks for being such a great friend, I'm sure your friend must be going through hell right now. As a Mom, I can't imagine seeing one of my girls in such pain.

((((hugs))))

Pam

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2001
Fri, 08-06-2004 - 2:27pm
thanks for responding to my post and i agree. her daughter and my son started out togeather in school. and so many people don;t understand what is going on with her daughter,. they say things like i would just tell her she is going to school and she might as well hush or i would just plain spanke her and tell her she is going. but truly she can;t the attacks of anxiety are so severe. my friend and i go to chruch togeather and she is a wonderful christian . she prays constantly for the lord to help with this. but then i get mad at her mom myself to. i feel like she is not giving the meds time enought to work. i feel like she should tell her daughter yes you have to try this and it is going to be strange for a while but then it could get better. but as soon as her daughter starts crying about it she gives in. i really wish i could help them somehow. my heart breaks for them and i to could not imagine my child going thru this./

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Fri, 08-06-2004 - 3:10pm
Theresa, It kind of sounds like this girl needs a new doctor. They should see your friend. Is your friend a psychatrist? She needs to see a mental health professional. I wouldn't be surprised if he recommended a hospital stay in order to get her meds straightened out. She needs help. The hole she is living in is no life. I do believe that this situation is going to require more than prayer. God gives doctors their gift in order to heal his people. Continue to pray though, it definitely doesn't hurt. It usually takes about 6 weeks for a new med to kick in. Her Mom needs to make sure she gives it time. This may be where hospitalization would help. Be sure to remind them that being hospitalized is no form of failure.

You are a wonderful friend. It's hard to watch a situation that you have no control over. I wish them the best and will say a little prayer of my own. Let us know if there is anything we can do to help you. Hugs, Brenda

Hugs, Brenda 

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2003
Fri, 08-06-2004 - 7:12pm

My prayers and positive thoughts are with your friend and her daughter.