Journey from Depression
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| Fri, 08-06-2004 - 1:40pm |
I just wanted to tell others about my experience with depression. I have in the past suffered from mild to severe depression. Counseling, medication, and just trying to "snap out of it" as I had been told to do, didn't work for me. My family didn't understand what was going on with me, and could not give me support. I was an embarrassment to some of them. I was given different diagnosis by different professionals. But no one had any answers.
I'll tell you what did work, and what continues to work for me. It was, and is a "process", not an overnight thing by any means. I went inpatient for a few days. During that stay I got to see that there were others suffering much, much more than I. That's what started to get my attention. During the group sessions I began to talk honestly about my "issues." They all led back to the same central theme. I was not, and had not been accepted for simply being me. Guess who was the biggest culprit? ME! I wanted approval, acceptance and validation which I had not been getting. But then why should I get it from others, I didn't give it to myself.
This was my turning point. Deciding that I would begin to approve of, accept and validate myself. That was a hard thing for me to do. Matter of fact, I had to learn how to do it because I had felt like such a complete failure at life. This was, and is a continuing process. I used to get upset because people didn't really "know me." The truth was that I didn't really know myself. As I started thinking along these new lines, I began to learn about who I was, what my likes and dislikes were. I started to remember what my "dreams" for myself were before I let others interfere. I started to acknowledge the good things about myself. I stopped comparing myself to others.
It started to dawn on me that I was not a bad person. And that my opinions, desires, preferences and talents were as valid as anyone elses. As I said this is a continuing process. There are times that feel down. But now I know what the signs are and I'm able to catch it before it becomes a problem. I have noticed that if I let myself become too tired, bogged down with too much of "other peoples stuff", don't eat right, neglect caring for my needs (spiritual, physical, creative, practical), that I feel down and listless.
I feel as though someone finally threw me a rope, and I was finally able to grab on to it. Please don't get me wrong. I'm not saying that the methods that worked for me will work for everyone. I understand enough about depression to know better. But there may someone out there who is just like me in regard to what brings on their depression. I feel like I've been through much too much, and have been able to come out of it standing on my own two feet, to not share with others. I want to say that there is hope!
Side note: As you begin to come out of depression, there are people around you who are not going to like it. They have become used to you being "down." Unfortunately you being "down" helps some people to feel better about themselves. Stand the ground you've fought so hard to gain. You are valuable, worthy and just plain wonderful. Just because you're you!

Thank you so much for posting this.
I can't say anymore...lovely.
Sending hugs and good thoughts your way.
Take care,
Lisa-)
My life has taken such a turn in the past few years. I'm doing things now that I would never in my wildest dreams have imagined I could do. It's quite amazing considering what I had previously been told would be my future. I am truly grateful for all that I have experienced, all that I have learned, and the people who came to my aid with support and information.
Deb
Thanks for sharing your story. I think it's great that you posted it here, mainly because I found it very difficult as a depressed person to find information on people who have LIVED THROUGH IT! There are so many books on how to GET through it, but it's all about the present tense. Now, I'm not saying that's a bad thing, but I know that I wanted desperately to hear someone say "I was depressed, I felt the way you feel now, and I got through it and am okay, and you will be too." Does/did anyone else feel that way?
I had tried to get a hold of the gentlemen responsible for the Chicken Soup for the Soul books regarding a CSftS book with stories about depression from people who are suffering, have suffered, and had friends/family who suffered. I never heard back. Does anyone else think it's a good idea??
Anyhow, that's my rant for today. Thanks again Jolomei...it's great to hear that you're doing well! :-)
hugs,
Rebecca
You are absolutely right! It was hard for me to find information on people who "lived through it." Actually, I didn't find any. I don't know why. Haven't figured that out yet.
I do want to say that the tendency to get depressed hasn't gone away, not yet anyway. As I mentioned in my first post, I have to watch for the signs and be proactive. I spent a LOT of years feeling depressed and it's a continuing process to renew my beliefs and improve on my reactions to things.
Just like now, business is kind of slow, it seems as though nothing is happening, bills are due, etc. But now I know better. Things happen in their own time. Just because I can't see it doesn't mean that nothing good is going on. In the past this set of circumstances would have thrown me into a tailspin. Now I know to examine my thoughts and feelings, change old thought patterns as they come up, get busy doing something productive, do something for me! It's just like exercise, gotta keep doing it or you will lose the results.
The GOOD NEWS is that I can at this point do something about it, catch it before it catches me. :) I'm glad my "There is hope" message got across. There is hope. Don't ever give up looking for "YOUR" answer!
Your idea for Chicken Soup book is a wonderful idea. Maybe they just need to hear from more people asking for it. If you give the contact information (if it's okay on the board), we could join with you in requesting that your idea be implemented. (They are probably trying to figure out why they haven't thought of the idea themselves!)
Hugs and much love!
Deb
I'm in almost the same place as you: I'm technically not depressed anymore, but I still have tendencies towards habits that I developed over the past few years. I can't agree more with your comment on "changing old thought patterns"...isn't that just it! I have to keep saying to myself that, no, I don't want to do that/think that way because I know where it leads. It IS practice, and takes a lot of time.
I'll check out the contact information again for Chicken Soup, and ask the CLs if it is okay to post that. Perhaps the board itself could submit something, as I'm sure the iVillage network is known to them.
Thanks for your lovely response.
Hugs,
Rebecca
While reading your post, all I could do was to nod my head in agreement. You are so right! I'm speechless. :)
Deb
I really think it's too bad, because I have not come across any books currently on the market that are written for people who are depressed and their families and friends, written BY depressed people and their families and friends. It would have been so nice to know that depression is survivable! I know that now, and I even am thankful for what it has taught me (although I fully realize that I wouldn't feel that way if it was a permanent state of being for me, despite functioning meds), but I wish I knew that then. Oh well....
Rebecca
That's interesting... a legal proposal for an idea. I'm going to check into that. Money and time will be a challenge, but experience.... who better than us? I'll let you know how my "challenge" goes. I'm not good at climbing walls, but I'm getting pretty good at going around them, under them or finding the crack in them. :)
Hugs,
Deb
Sounds alot like me. Thanks for sharing. It helps alot. I have been fighting depression and anxiety off an on for years and years. Family and friends just dont get it. They just tell you to get over it and be happy. I do feel better when I eat right, exercise, and get out and do things. It just takes alot sometimes when you get in a rut and just cant seem to see the way out. I feel alot better when I try not to worry about things and just get out of the house and do it!
Thanks for your advice. Di