dealing with boyfriend's depression

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2003
dealing with boyfriend's depression
2
Sat, 08-14-2004 - 9:17pm
Hello everybody. I came to the IVillage boards trying to find a solution, and I think this is the right place. I need some pointers, tips, opinions, not about my depression, but my boyfriend's.

He's been on Paxil and Wellbutrin for the last 10 years or so, for panic attacks and depression; he's depressed because he lost his faith in God (used to be very religious), school stress, fear of death, and I guess typical depression symptoms.

He staged a "suicide rehearsal" last year, before I met him, although he says he would never try killing himself, he's so afraid of death. He did it to relieve pain... can somebody explain this to me?

He says he's much, much happier since he met me and since we are together, his family says I've made a big difference with him, I'm a good influence, he's calmer, less anxious and stressed. He does have some depression moments, but go away soon, and sometimes go even unnoticed.

My situation is this: I love him dearly, I don't want to be with anybody else than him, I really don't, it's a great relationship and he makes me a better, more complete person. He's cheerful most of the time, has a hot temper, but he's cheerful; we always have a great time together, with an amazing connection, emotionally, physically and intellectually. I am a worrysome person, so we are compatible in that way, and he's been supportive to me during difficult times. However, I am so afraid of the future, of him having a break down in the long run (we've been talking about marriage after we finish our education, in a few years); I can just picture us with a couple of kids and him having to check into a hospital or something, leaving the whole weight of things on me. We've talked about this, about me being so afraid of not being able to lean on his strength someday,of him being fragile. He says he can't guarantee of it not happening again, but that the meds are helping him and he thinks it's less possible. I can't talk to my family about this because they would never understand and would just tell me to get out of it; I've talked with some friends that have given me support to keep on going and cheering me on. Can you tell me what to do?

Also, I wanted to ask, does Paxil have a sleeping side effect? Because he sleeps in til late, or better yet, he has a hard time getting up. Once I start waking him up, it's easier. But I can't picture myself waking him up every day for the rest of my life! Any tips?

Thanks you so much, and I hope I haven't offended anybody. I've never had to deal with aloved one with depression, so I don't know how to help him. Thanks,

me_sweet79

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
Sun, 08-15-2004 - 8:06pm

Hi and Welcome!


First off you certainly didnt

*hugs             

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-01-2004
Mon, 08-16-2004 - 1:59pm

Offend??? No way!