Overwhelmed
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Overwhelmed
| Sat, 08-21-2004 - 9:19pm |
I am not really sure if my unhappiness qualifies as depression or not. I recently graduated from college. Seems like my life should be happy huh? Well after graduation, my life changed drastically. All of a sudden I found myself moving back home. Half of me didn't mind the move, the other half felt pressured by my parents and a few "friends". Moving back has been a more bitter experience than sweet.
I left many good friends from college, including my boyfriend, who I miss a bunch. The people who I had called friends in my hometown, proved to be nothing more than gossipers and not so loyal. My life seems to be the topic of discussion for many people in town including those who know my parents. Little things from where I have applied to work, who I am seen with, and that I signed up for classes at the local community college seems to start people talking.
I find that with every passing day my mood becomes more and more depressed. I have not had these feelings since I moved away for school. I see the person that I have become the past four years slipping away from me and it makes me feel like I have lost control of who I am. The only thing that is keeping me sane is working out and counting down the days until I am going to get out of town and visit my boyfriend and my friends.
I guess, I am writing all of this partly to get it out of my system and partly because I would be happy to take any advice that may help me get in a better mood.
I left many good friends from college, including my boyfriend, who I miss a bunch. The people who I had called friends in my hometown, proved to be nothing more than gossipers and not so loyal. My life seems to be the topic of discussion for many people in town including those who know my parents. Little things from where I have applied to work, who I am seen with, and that I signed up for classes at the local community college seems to start people talking.
I find that with every passing day my mood becomes more and more depressed. I have not had these feelings since I moved away for school. I see the person that I have become the past four years slipping away from me and it makes me feel like I have lost control of who I am. The only thing that is keeping me sane is working out and counting down the days until I am going to get out of town and visit my boyfriend and my friends.
I guess, I am writing all of this partly to get it out of my system and partly because I would be happy to take any advice that may help me get in a better mood.

Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't post, because after all it would be like the blind leading the blind, right? But I've found that I feel so much better when someone has a caring word, even if I don't entirely agree with their suggestions or advice.
The fact that you don't seem to be happy with the move makes me wonder what prompted you to move home. Is it possible to move back to where your college was? If finances are an issue, maybe you could apply for a scholarship, have more roommates...? If you moved home because your mom wanted you nearer, maybe you could promise to visit more often.
Hope this helps you. I know I didn't really say anything brilliant, but I am here if you want to talk. :)
Kim