I stink at being a grown up...

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-01-2004
I stink at being a grown up...
17
Tue, 08-31-2004 - 8:35pm
I hate triggers. I hate when you are blind sided by something. Today, I got blind sided by somethng that happened because of a man who did not understand depression.

I realized that so often my depression manifests itself as my failure to be a good at being grown up.

I completely stink at being a grown up. It is just too hard. This is how depression makes me feel. That I am horrible at being a grown up.

I can't even begin to tell the story of how I came to this place. I just know I am a failure.

I can't even have an illness right. My legs hurt and no one knows why. Another failed experience. I could not train tonight....hurt too bad.

I am so sad.....sorry to wallow...and whine.

I guess another one of my failures.

Sending hugs and good thoughts your way.

Take care,

Lisa-)

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2003
Tue, 08-31-2004 - 9:42pm

Oh sweetie, I am sorry you are having such a bad day, but you know what, You ARE A wonderful human being.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-27-2004
Tue, 08-31-2004 - 9:42pm
((((((((((Lisa)))))))))), you're way too hard on yourself.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Tue, 08-31-2004 - 10:19pm
{{{Lisa}}} I hope you listen to Trac and ladyirish. You are such a wonderful person! You are always there for us (along with Trac and Caly) and I know that you do so much even tho you are in pain most of the time.

I stink at being grown up too. That's probably why I chose to be a teacher. I only have to be grown-up with the 7th and 8th grades. With 6th on down I can sing silly songs and dance around the room and just have fun!!

Now give yourself a pat on the back for all that you do and read Trac's poem again. I hadn't read that in a long time and I know it made me smile just now!! Debbie
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
Wed, 09-01-2004 - 7:48am

HEY!

*hugs             

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Wed, 09-01-2004 - 11:27am
Well welcome to my world. I am 36yo and I am still the same scared insecure 12 yo I was so many years ago. Sometimes I look in the mirror and wonder how I got to be this old. I don't remember. Like you said it's too hard to be grown up. I don't want to do this anymore. I had so many dreams as a young girl and not a one has come true. How could I have wasted my life this way? When did life become living for everyone else and not for me. I will be really scary when my life is over because I have nothing to show for the fact that I was ever alive. I know we make unseen impacts, but I need something tangible.

Lisa sorry to make this all about me. Guess I am even a failure at being a cyber friend. Take care of yourself. Hugs, Brenda

Hugs, Brenda 

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2003
Wed, 09-01-2004 - 11:42am
Lisa,

You are so not a failure

Please do not think that

SO what you have a horrible ex we all do the difference is how we all handel them I obsess over them some cry and get over it and others just dont understand why the person was so mean..

You are an awesoem CL here you are a great aunt you are a good person with a great heart who loves life and people so much..

you are so not the failure that you think you are

life doesnt always suck and things will get better give it time I know that is easier said than doen but trust me this wont last forever.

Erin

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-01-2004
Wed, 09-01-2004 - 12:24pm
((((Trac)))) Thank you for that. I needed to be reminded that I have a lot of little kid in me and that is one of my "charms." lol

I am crying my way through my day. So much for being a functionally clinically depressed person, but someone took my shift at work. I am giving my self a "hard drive" crash day.

I have not felt this bad in quite some time.

I have to print that out so I can take it to work.

Sending hugs and good thoughts your way.

Take care,

Lisa-)

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-01-2004
Wed, 09-01-2004 - 12:29pm
((((Mary)))) Thank you so much for telling me that I am here for you. I just feel so useless. It is nice to hear. But right now the other voices are stronger....the ones of the gremlin, telling me that I am no good.

I can't tell you how much your support means to me .

Thank you!


Sending hugs and good thoughts your way.

Take care,

Lisa-)

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-01-2004
Wed, 09-01-2004 - 12:35pm
((((Deb)))) Thanks for coming to my rescue. I used to teach little kids too....I miss that. Alas, that is one of my failures, something taken away because of emotional abuse. Why wasn't I stronger?

I am trying to read Trac's poem...I am trying.

I also, seem to be failing.

But your un-yeilding support of me does help.

Thank you.

Sending hugs and good thoughts your way.

Take care,

Lisa-)

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-01-2004
Wed, 09-01-2004 - 12:45pm
((((Caly)))) Thank you for telling me that you think I am most awesome grown up you know. Right now, I have no way to change my situation. NONE! I made a choice that my old boss thought was a poor one and he took away my teaching priviledges. It is where I train. I have much of my identity wrapped up in that place. It hurts, so bad, that I failed in a arena in which I know I can thrive.

You are such a good friend.

Thank you.


Sending hugs and good thoughts your way.

Take care,

Lisa-)

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