I stink at being a grown up...
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I stink at being a grown up...
| Tue, 08-31-2004 - 8:35pm |
I hate triggers. I hate when you are blind sided by something. Today, I got blind sided by somethng that happened because of a man who did not understand depression.
I realized that so often my depression manifests itself as my failure to be a good at being grown up.
I completely stink at being a grown up. It is just too hard. This is how depression makes me feel. That I am horrible at being a grown up.
I can't even begin to tell the story of how I came to this place. I just know I am a failure.
I can't even have an illness right. My legs hurt and no one knows why. Another failed experience. I could not train tonight....hurt too bad.
I am so sad.....sorry to wallow...and whine.
I guess another one of my failures.
Sending hugs and good thoughts your way.
Take care,
Lisa-)

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Though, I doubt that you understand what you have. I looked at your profile and you have a husband and 2 kids. I am 2 years younger and I have nothing. I have an empty house. Anyone who has children has left an impact on the world. Please don't forget that.
I want to join you in being that 12 year old. Though 12 was hard....lets be 8 or 9....I like coloring.
For the record, you are a very good cyber friend.
Sending hugs and good thoughts your way.
Take care,
Lisa-)
Do I really "love life and people so much"? I hadn't noticed. lol
That post is a keeper....up on my wall.
Thank you!
Sending hugs and good thoughts your way.
Take care,
Lisa-)
I would love to go back to age 16. Things were great then. I would give up everything to be able to go back in time with the knowledge I have now. I was truely happy then. That's been twenty years. I've made more mistakes in this life than allowable. Now I am paying the price. Hugs, Brenda
Hugs, Brenda
Yet, another thing we have in common.
I don't think you could have surpassed my number of mistakes...but if you have...can we both be over the limit? lol. Yes, let's be over the limit together.
All you can do now is love your kids, and try on the way... to love yourself. Corny as that may sound.
I hope that you are investigating ways to get out of the "middle of no-where Kansas". Sounds to me like you need to make yourself a priority. Or at the very least out of this relationship. I know that at the moment it may feel impossible, but thinking about it, may make it seem more real. Then maybe someday it can become a reality.
Thanks for posting to little old me. You always make me feel understood.
Sending hugs and good thoughts your way.
Take care,
Lisa-)
Co-CL Depression Support
I also often feel like I'm bad at being a grown-up, and I can definitely relate to the feeling of not even being able to have an illness correctly. But there is no one way to be a grown-up...it seems like many grown-ups must be doing something wrong anyway, what with all that's going on in the world today! And the support and caring you've shown everyone here makes it very clear that you are the best kind of grown-up!
I've been thinking about you and hoping that the physical and mental pain will go away for you...you deserve to be happy and pain-free,
Rose
(((Rose))) Thank yo so much, your words do help.
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