HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-28-2004
HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
1
Fri, 09-03-2004 - 3:19pm
Hi I have a problem, I am jewish, and I live in Israel, My husband is depresesed and doesn't work, my prolem is holidays are coming up and no one inveied me to any where, the tempele is close and I know that eveyone knows about what happened with my husbad I am so hurt and I don't even want to go anymore anywhere, I just want to get divoced!!!!!!!! I feel that living with him is not a good thing and it is better if I get up and go, he is very sick with depression, and he has not worked for years and I don't know how much I should have to take of him. I hate the problem it is getting to hard to deal with him anymore.

help
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-09-2003
Sun, 09-05-2004 - 11:55am
I'm sorry for the frustrating, lonely situation you are in.

I can imagine that it's very disenheartening to be with a man whose been depressed for years and isn't making any progress towards recovering.

Many of us here have been in that boat. I was blessed to have my dh stay with me through the worst of my depression. I tried many things to get better. Antidepressants helped me a lot. I used to be a purist about food and not taking medication. But I couldn't take being depressed any longer. I finally went to a therapist that my doctor recommended. She helped me more than anything ever had.

I'm much better now.

Depression has the highest success rate for treatment and cure. But you can't get anyone to do what they don't want to do. The depressed person needs to make the effort to get better.

Unfortunately, people in relationships with depressed people often become depressed themselves. They try to boost their partner up, but ending up getting sucked down into the gloom and hopelessness of depression with them.

Only you know what you can take. I don't think that anyone would fault you for not going down with a sinking ship. My ex-husband was depressed and wasn't willing to do any therapy or anything else to feel better. I finally had to move on with my life. It was one of the best things I ever did. It was hard to start my life over. One of the hardest things I've ever done. But my life now is much better and happier than it could have been with my ex.

I support you in doing what you need to do for yourself. If your husband isn't doing anything to make his life and emotional state better, you have the right to move on to save yourself. You deserve a good life.

Good Luck,

MariaC