connecting
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| Mon, 09-06-2004 - 10:35pm |
If you find yourself at a point in your life where you're really alone - few or no real friends, no family or only an emotionally distant, unsupportive, or dysfunctional family, no partner, no boyfriend -- when you're in a position like that in the world, is it possible to take deliberate steps to *build* a close community of friends and (surrogate) family?
How do you get from a socially barren life to a life full of warm, trustworthy people in it? I so envy people who have big, happy families. They have no idea what an advantage they have in life. What they have seems completely out of my reach.
These message boards are loaded with wonderful people, of course - but in this case I mean a circle of friends in the "bricks and mortar" world.
Sometimes I fantasize about having a group of friends who get together once a week at each other's homes to make dinner, listen to music, watch movies, converse. And it would be so great to have one or two friends who call me a couple of times a week just to chat - good, close friends. And a partner, yeah, I wish I had a partner in life, someone I could count on - but I gave up on dating a couple of years ago. I live in a big city where the ratio of men to women is something like 80 to 100. There are just too many men here who are only interested in sexual conquests, who will gladly do what it takes to convince you otherwise if it helps them achieve their own agenda.
Does anyone have any specific suggestions for ways to connect with people? Joining the local food co-op is one thing I would add to the list. I'm curious - have you made any successful efforts at community building? Have you had to deal with social isolation? I doubt I'm the only one having a hard time with this. I'm a woman in her thirties, who isn't married, and over time friends have moved away, gotten married, started families, and generally just don't have any time for me for whatever reason. I'm not interested in having children, so I feel a real need to find other kinds of "family".
What's your view?
I so so so hope to start taking steps to change my situation before the Thanksgiving-Christmas-New Years season starts, which is when I feel super low. It's the loneliest time of the year, and each year it gets harder to endure.
| Tue, 09-07-2004 - 3:53pm |
