wanting to be pg TRIGGERS

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2004
wanting to be pg TRIGGERS
3
Thu, 09-09-2004 - 9:56pm
I have 2 lovely girls ages 2 and 4. I'm a sahm, trying to accept that they are growing up, so am I at 36 today :( is my b.day. I'm dealing with dismantling the nursery ~ making it their "Big girl" room ~ tears tears tears ~ I'M NOT READY! :( I LONG for the carriage days, the mommy and me classes, the jarred baby food, maternity clothes, nursing, the excitement of being pg. . . .

My 4 year old started preschool this week. As she left she spotted her old bouncy chairs i was donating ~ she said "Mummy, I remember that! Can I bounce?" A tear filled my eye as I quickly turned away and happily said "You're a big girl now! Let's get to school!" She said "Mummy, I'll miss you." TEARS TEARS TEARS

Even if I did have a 3rd ~ which GGGGRRRRR my H refuses ~ it won't make Molly a baby again.

Pregnant women, maternity and baby stores, pg test commercials all make me sad! I LONG for the days ~ especially the joy it was to be pg for the first time, and to be a first time mom!

I feel GUILTY and I HATE myself for brief moments I had when I thought being pg sucked ~ I hated being fat. I remember thinking the house is too messy, the baby equipment too bulky ~ "I'll be happy when it's gone" ~ I'd say. YEAH RIGHT! :( I'd do anything to turn back the clock. I remember giving my H feeding duty ~ I wish I hadn't now.

People say I'll enjoy big girl things ~ doing homework together, dance recitals. . . . I would give my left arm to do a Mommy and me class ONE MORE TIME ~ and to think I blew so many off just so I could clean or run errands. TEARS TEARS TEARS

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anonymous user
Fri, 09-10-2004 - 2:04pm
Hey there. Im sorry that you are suffering with this. Maybe your children growing up represents to you that your life is over as you know it, and that you dont know yourself as anything but a mom anymore. Does this make sense? I dont know what to say but a counsellor might help you to break free of that. I wish I had a resolution for it but I have you in my thoughts HUGSHUGSHUGS
Avatar for all_girls4me
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 09-10-2004 - 2:30pm
I kind of know how you feel. I've been there. My girls are 2, almost 4 and almost 6. No more baby stuff around our house. My 2 year old has been sleeping in a regular bed since she was 18 months old. I went through the stage of missing the baby days, but I think I'm over it now. I did cry though when I dropped my oldest off at her first day of Kindergarten. She looked so grown up. I didn't cry when she was in preschool...go figure. Deep down I would like to try for a boy, but DH is totally against it, and I have to agree, it wouldn't be the best thing. I work fulltime, and we are busy enough as it is with homework, soccer and playtime.

Just wanted to let you know that you are not alone. But it is a normal thing for them to grow up....unfortunately ...lolol. I don't even want to think about the teenage years....arghhhhhhhhhhhh!

Ilka

Mom to 3 girls.



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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-05-2004
Fri, 09-10-2004 - 4:36pm

You're in my thoughts & prayers.


Love


"Maddy's Mom"






Edited 9/10/2004 4:37 pm ET ET by blythe_one
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