i want to be ok but i'm not
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i want to be ok but i'm not
| Tue, 09-14-2004 - 8:03pm |
i feel like i am on the ground and still getting kicked from every direction. i am usually so social, and i have been having panic attacks around people and i can't be anywhere or do anything i am just too sad. i know that a break up should not make me feel as bad as i do- i know there are other guys, time, it's not right, etc. but it has been like a domino effect and i am honestly not ok. i know i need to be ok alone. but i miss him and want him and can't take this anymore. i really just want to die right now, and i haven't felt that way for a long time. i am scared and sad- so so sad. i just went to this function and i ran into a friend of his- the guy told me he had heard that we weren't doing so well and had been talking to him and how sometimes people just "want different things" but still love each other. that is where we are now? different things apparently = i want him and he wants to run away. every inch of me hurts and wants to stop feeling this way so badly. i just don't know how and time seems to be making it worse not better.

(((((((((((((((((ERIN)))))))))))))))))))))))
*hugs
It is not a light switch. I wish it was.....but we are here for you.
Don't forget that.
Sending hugs and good thoughts your way.
Take care,
Lisa-)
co-CL Depression Support
I'm so sorry. I sure hope that you don't think that I want you to be any place other than where you are. You are in the middle of the horrible, wrenching loss. And how FLEEMPING HORRIBLE it is to hear through some third party more of an explanation for this terrible betrayal than he has given to YOU!
AfterI had my heart ripped out by the first guy I told you about, our only mutual friend told me he said that we were "just too different." That was way more than he EVER told me. In fact, he wouldn't tell me anything, even though we'd been best friends for 5 years before we dated.
My point is that I know how horrible it feels to have something like that happen.
I feel for you, Sweetie.
Don't pressure yourself to be anywhere other than where you are right now. This is a major emotional betrayal. It has ripped your whole reality out from under you.
Please call me any time that you want someone to listen. I'm here for you, Sweetie. I'm deeply sorry that this has happened. I hope you can talk to him soon.
Hugs,
Maria
(((((Voguegirl))))) We hope you are feeling ok...better will take some time.
Sending hugs and good thoughts your way.
Take care,
Lisa-)
co-CL Depression Support
I want you to know that you are still in my thoughts and prayers right now.
MariaC