hope to end
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| Wed, 09-15-2004 - 12:30am |
In the postings under "life and birthday" and "paralysed with fear" ,I have talked about my friend.
I am just upset. On sunday,he said he has lesson from 5pm to 8pm. BUt i was feeling down , so i called his house, hoping to talk to him coz i was feeling very low. So at 5pm,i called his home and i was shocked to find him picking up his resident's phone. He should be on the way to his class or should be out of his house at that time. I called twice, heard his voice, and i put down the phone. I was upset, there is no swimming and he lied to me.
WHy am i so naive to have believed him? He said he would call me yesterday during lunch time, and also in the night before he goes to bed, he did not call,he said he would want to call me to find out if my left knee is ok, coz he injured my left knee last year in august.
Yet...right now, wednesday afternoon...i am still waiting for his call. WHat should I do?
I don't have anyone who cares for me. No relatives care for me,not even my parents, not my younger sister(she is very busy), And i told this friend that I have only him to care for me. He knows. Yet, he still ignores me and bullies me.
I wish to end it all on my 25th birthday,holding onto the necklace he gave it to me in my hand.I am really very upset and it won't be long to 1st december.
Thank you for listening! (reading)

A wise friend once told me that you have to want to be with someone not need to be with someone.
I am the president of the "I have no one: Self pity" club. I have no one who is interested. I am not even sure I would recognize a man's interest. Much less have one ignore me.
One word of advise is to read the "Mars Venus" books. They talk about how calling only pushes men away. I believe it likens men to rubber bands.
We are soooooo here for you. I hope that makes you feel less alone. So many people here understand what you are going through.
I do care, too. Don't forget to keep us up to date as to what is going on with you.
Sending hugs and good thoughts your way.
Take care,
Lisa-)
co-CL Depression Support