I really need your advice
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| Mon, 09-27-2004 - 10:51pm |
We have tried counseling a couple of times. The first time made her worse. She cried more then ever after her sessions with that counselor and the second time, I was just not happy with the direction the counselor was taking us in. She had a wonderful counselor at school when she was in elementary, but once she moved on to the middle school...she was not able to see him anymore. He had built a relationship with her and she trusted him. It was hard for her because she really enjoyed their talks!
Anyway, now that I have given you a little history. Here is the big problem....Recently she has cut her legs with scissors three times. The first time, I thought it was just an accident. She said that she was cutting the hair on her legs. The second time, I really didn't think a whole lot about it either. However, after the third time, I am very concerned. I told her if the hair bothers her, that she can shave her legs. She does not seem to want to do that. I know most girls her age do want to, but she is kind've immature for her age. The thought of growing up scares her I think. Anyway, she said that she is not sure why she does it. Any suggestions?? I am kind've hoping now that I have made an issue out of it with her, that she realizes this practice must stop. If it happens again, I will talk to her doctor and find out where to go from here. I was just hoping for some advice from people who may understand better then me how she is feeling. Please help me understand!!!

Firstly, welcome to the boards, I'm SO glad you've found this place, and I sincerely hope and pray you find the support you need to suport your daughter ((hugs))
I am SO sorry for all the your daughter has to deal with, as a Mom, your post made my heart cry. 12 was very difficult for me, body changes and then the dramas at school, it was all TOO much for me.
I think it's awesome that you've found help for your daughter in the way of medication and I'm glad that its helping somewhat. I do however feel that you need to find her a new Therapist ASAP. I'm really glad that her first experience with councelling was positive, that hopefully will keep her open minded with the next one. I'm really sorry that this last C you took her to didn't work out, I know how discouraging that must have been for you and your family, but please, don't give up. I know that there is a T out there perfect for your Daughter. Please find imediate help for her, from reading your post, I've no doubt she needs it.
The cutting of her legs really scared me, thats a massive RED flag for me. Your daughter is self mutilating herself and needs help ASAP!! She will continue to do this unless she receives the proper help. Her knowing that it is unacceptable will just force her to do it in hiding. Of course this practice must stop, you and I know that, but in her mind it won't stop because she's giving herself some kind of release.
There is a board here on ivillage health that deals with self injury I'll find it and post it. Please go there for resources. I'm SO glad your daughter has you, your obviously and VERY loving and supportive mother that is trying to help her daughter. I'm so glad that you came looking for that help.
Again please continue to seek out therapy for her.
Take care of yourself and know that we're all thinking about ((you))
((((HUGS))))
Pam
(((HUGS)))
Pam
http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-bhselfinjury
Maureen/Mo
If this was a real life it would have come with instructions.
I have been doing some reading on self injuring and I know that many people who do this were molested as children. This is not the case with my daughter. She has never been abused in any way by anyone. My husband and I have always been very protective and our children have never been left with anyone except my parents. Thank you for your input and I will definately keep looking for someone that we feel comfortable with.
Hi there!
They say the middle school years are the hardest age on children and since my own son is now in 8th grade I can believe it.
*hugs