SICK AND TIRED(triggers)

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-30-2004
SICK AND TIRED(triggers)
6
Sun, 10-03-2004 - 11:52pm
Hello everyone! I am here. I am alright! For the time being.

I have been trying to keep away from stuffs that could hurt me. ANd thanks you for all the e-mails....thanks. I have received them ...and i have been feeling too upset to come online...now I am even more angry and upset.

I want to hurt myself ...on the wrist or something...coz i have a appointment with a psychiatrist today, 4th october. AND my friend said he cannot bring me there.

AND i am sick and tired of people letting me down...especially since july that i cannot eat and sleep.And i have been telling this guy. His name :soe min than.

(from myanmar)

He lied to me, and continues to do it. I am sad. Just that I wanna hurt myself in front of him to let everyone knows that i am really sick and i need to seek help!

I have missed three appointments already.

Thank you everyone for listening!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-1999
Mon, 10-04-2004 - 4:31am
Dear Katheryn: I so hope you make it to see the psychiatrist and be 100% honest in what you are feeling/thinking as we can't be helped by any professionals if we don't totally open up to them.

For me, the past 2 years in therapy and 1.5 years on a med, I am learning who are safe people and who aren't, and not to "put all my eggs into one basket", so I would say that "friend" you described leaves something to be desired. I had to push away a girlfriend of over 12 years after she repeatedly hurt my feelings, we would make amends, BAM she would do it again, I finally realized learning to nurture myself meant no more Karen in my life.

Again, I hope you make it to that appointment today, and very glad to hear you are still here, hugs, Josie.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
Mon, 10-04-2004 - 8:17pm

Hi hun!


Sounds like you need to find someone besides that "friend" to rely on.

*hugs             

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-30-2004
Wed, 10-06-2004 - 8:38am
Hello! Everyone.

Shortly after i put up the message on monday, 4th october, i cried ...asking my mother to bring me to the appointment.

Then I called my counsellor(have been seeing her for a few years, but everytime i called her, she was too busy to talk to me, have been like this for quite a while, for about one year, and she wants to end our client-counsellor relationship, she mentioned it two years ago.) ,asking her to bring me to the doctor...coz i really feel like ending my life. My counsellor called my father to bring me to the doctor but he came home to read newspaper.

I was very upset...calling my counsellor saying, i want to help myself...i nearly hurt myself...but she said i have already asked your father home...he should be the one to bring you to the doctor.

I was very upset, i nearly hurt myself, and my effort to prevent myself from getting hurt is not working, like i called my counsellor, my last resort, to ask her to bring me to the doctor.

I am really upset over here. If the shows shown is true, to change my identity and live somewhere else, i wish to live in places where people do care about me.

I am upset...to the point where even now i type,i cannot type well, and i cannot watch t.v. programmes anymore, i used to watch lots of t.v. programmes...now i cannot do anything, my life is worse than death. I don't know what to do.

I cannot do anything anymore, i asked my counsellor to read the postings i put up, she cannot find this site.

Now i am left with no one to care about me anymore.

help!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-01-2004
Wed, 10-06-2004 - 7:35pm
(((Katheryn)))) Please remember if you ever feel you will hurt yourself that you should call a hotline. We have the numbers right here on the page. Know we care....

We are here for you, you are not alone.

Sending hugs and good thoughts your way.

Take care,

Lisa-)

Co-CL Depression Support

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-07-2004
Wed, 10-06-2004 - 10:25pm
I am not sure what to tell you about getting a ride to your counselor.

But what I do know is that sometimes our parents let us down badly.

I finally had to give up and learn that my father will never love me

the way I always wanted him to. No matter how brave, or smart, or

strong I am, he will still let me down by being critical and hurtful.

So now I try to remember that allowing him to hurt my feelings is my

choice. Of course, since I have moved out that makes it easier to

get up and leave if things get too bad.

Have you tried a local church? I know several seniors at my church

drive folks without cars to appointments. Or does your city have a

local bus line? I know taxis are terribly expensive.

Try your best to remember you deserve respect. Please don't hurt

yourself for anyone's attention. It's not worth it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2004
Mon, 10-18-2004 - 12:07am
Hello, I was going to say the same thing the last person said. Im not sure if you're disable d or maybe new to your town but try to check out public transportation in your area or if you can afford it try taking a cab. I really feel that you should find another counselor who is trained to deal with your depression. It sounds like it has gotten to the point of being severe and you may even want to consider checking in to a hospital so someone can monitor you. I'm so sorry that your family and friends are acting this way but try to make phone calls or like the last lady said, try your local church. You may even be able to get wonderful counseling from someone there instead of going out of the way to a a therapist. I hope none of my e-mail is offensive to you because I'm close to the same boat and no longer am afraid to put myself in a hospital to keep from hurting myself. Killing yourself or attempting to do it for attention is giving that person too much power over you. Those people don't deserve a place in your life if you are trying to get better and they are not helping you. I hope this helps at least a little.