Horrible week....just need to vent
Find a Conversation
| Tue, 10-05-2004 - 7:07am |
I've had a horrible week. I guess it started last Monday. It was non-stop crying and suicidal thoughts. Fianlly tuesday became unbearable and I said some things that propted DH to call the cops. I had a very nice female officer spend about an hour with me and finally decided she needed to take me to the hospital for evaluation. She also spoke with DH about taking time off to help me through this rough time but nothing has changed in that department.
While at the hospital I as evaluated by a free service (adult mental health) and an appointment was set up the following day. I attended and am scheduled for another on Thursday. The problem is I finally get some help and I have no way to make it to the sessions because DH still views his job as more important. I have no one to take me and it would cost $30.00 each way by cab. Ain't gonna happen. Is it to much to ask DH to take time out to help me after being together for 22 yrs and never asking for anything and sticking my him through so much?? Am I selfish? The officer called last night and asked if DH has made arrangements for time off and I said "no" and she said he told her he would.
To make matters worse out of the blue on Saturday DH informs me he want's to buy a local business. He asked that I put together the business plan (I've done them before for my own business as well as for 2 other individuals) but hasn't given any input and this is a business that he knows alot about and I know diddly squat! Like a little trooper I've spent about 14 hours on it already and when I asked him if he planned on taking time off from work or ask for a layoff to get this up and running he said "no." I don't know how he thinks he can do both and he knows the crisis I am in right now. Maybe he feels giving me something to do will help. NOT!
To make things even worse I'm turing 38 today and I haven't lived life the way I've wanted to since 1996. For me it's just another day. I just want to stay in bed all day.
sorry for sounding so down but thanks for allowing me to vent.

And if you feel you need the counseling session, can't you ask a neighbor or friend or relative? Is there a bus system? Just trying to think of someway you could make it there.
For me the past 2 years in therapy, now going to Alanon and my following my therapist suggestions most of the time, and taking a med is all part and parcel of me getting better.
I hope you can enlighten your dh that you matter and he needs to help you in your efforts to get better.
take care, let us know how you are doing, Josie.
I made the decision last night to stop having anything to do with his business idea. when he shows some initiative then I will put everything I have into helping...until then I'm not doing anymore.
As for getting to counciling. There are no buses or taxi's where I live and it so happens that the 2 friends I thought I could rely on are busy. DH is suppose to ask his boss today if he can have the time off to get me to and from (100km round trip) the apppointment. Even if I make this one (I doubt it) it's going to be a struggle each week and the real P.O. is dh is the one who encouraged me to seek counciling! I will make a phone call today to another person I know (not well) to see if he can help. I just don't want him to know why the counciling etc. I only trust that info with those close to me.
Thanks for replying to me :)