I thought I had a solution

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-05-2004
I thought I had a solution
1
Tue, 10-05-2004 - 6:48pm
Hi! This is my first time here. What a great place!

Being widowed for six years now is the reason for my depression, I think. I work very hard physically and usually fall asleep after I get home from work and have something to eat. Bad idea, because then I usually have a hard time falling asleep at the normal bedtime hour. Anyhow, I live alone and my children live out of town. Today was my day off and I slept until noon (my usual pattern on my day off). I forced myself to put a coat of paint on a desk I just bought second hand for my new computer. I thought this would make me feel good, but just the opposite happened. You see I don't have anyone to share my accomplishment with. I don't get depressed if I don't do anything all day, but if I do something that I would like to share with someone, I lose it. Are there any of you out there that have this kind of problem?

Looking forward to hearing from you.

Sally

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-1999
Wed, 10-06-2004 - 5:02am
HI Sally: I am sorry you are widowed, for me my dh is my world, so I can't imagaine if he was gone, I never had any kids of my own, and too bad yours are out of town.

But for me, since when I started therapy back in August 2002, my therapist could see right away, I needed other support people in my life, so with her guidance, downright pushing sometimes as I can be stubborn, I have reached out to some people at my work, have joined Alanon, through that group go out to lunch with the whole group some weeks, and have started a private friendship with the one from Alanon which has really been a blessing. I just asked a widowed lady at church if she ever wanted to do lunch, don't know if she will call or not. And another lady friend, we now occasionally get together for lunch which is something new for us.

So my point is, as hard as it can be for me sometimes as I can perceive someone saying, no to lunch as a personal slam against me, is there anyone you can reach out to so you can have someone to share things with? Join a club, take a class, join a church? I know those can sound so pat and like something our therapists might say, but they can work and they can help us leave our safe cocoons and join the world out there.

Take care, and I hope you find someone soon to share your pretty painted desk with, hugs, Josie.