Help my marriage

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-08-2004
Help my marriage
3
Fri, 10-08-2004 - 3:40pm
I am new here and hope that you are able to give me some guidance. I was recently married for the 2nd time, my last marriage ended in 1985. I have had a couple of relationships over the years but none that lasted. I am married to a wonderful, caring, generous, loving man and my marriage of 4 months is falling apart. I was diagnosed with depression almost 17 years ago. I have taken paxil, prozac, zoloft, effector,celexa over the years and am now on 60mg of Remeron, which is the best one so far. I also take 100 mg of trazadone for anxiety. My problem is I have no interest in sex at all, and for a four month marriage you can image the problems that it is causing. I know it is common for people on anti depressants to have sexually difficulty, but is there any way around this or treatment or therpy for this. Is it the medications that cause this alone and if so what do I do about it? Is there another medication that I can take to counteract the effects of the depression medication? I cannot function with out the depression medication and am aware it is a lifetime condition. I welcome any advice or suggestions you may have, maybe some pointer on what to do. This is getting very difficult for me to deal with.

Thank you
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-26-2003
In reply to: kimm1962
Fri, 10-08-2004 - 3:46pm

oh yeah, I hear ya on this one !!!!


Yes the meds take away your sex drive.

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

 

God could not be everywhere, so

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-08-2004
In reply to: kimm1962
Fri, 10-08-2004 - 5:44pm
The problem is both I don't start anything so it hurts his ego....and also I say no when he asks as there is nothing there. I do love him but am incapable of expressing it. I have told him about the depression and he does not understand it at all. We have seen our pastor about it but he can still not understand it. I am completely at a loss. I have no idea where else to turn too. It is getting to the point he has asked me to leave once already, I cannot understand. I am going to see our family doctor tomorrow but I am not sure what else to do. Would therpy help at all? or because it is the meds would that be a waste of time.

Thanks

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2004
In reply to: kimm1962
Sat, 10-09-2004 - 7:05am
I can totally relate to your situation and I don't think we can blame the lack of sex drive on meds alone. Why? Because I've tried several (not since May) and still have no sex drive what so ever. About 3 weeks ago I initiated what was suppose to be a special event for us (been 5 months) because I thought if I felt that special closeness and all the emotional feelings that come with it then it would help my depression. wrong! I cried through the entire ordeal and he kept saying "lets stop, you're not ready." I insisted on finishing because I needed to know that I still felt something...anything! I didn't. Afterwards I felt so empty and wondered how a person could just stop feeling anything at all. dh response to it all was "don't be upset you will be fine when you beat this thing and are feeling better."

I think a lot of the problem with depression in a marriage is that the partner does not get the education to fully understand the extent of the condition and the effects it has on the person who is suffering. If your dh is like mine he "thinks" he understands but he truly doesn't.

I'm in my second week of counciling and I hope to bring dh into it somewhere along the line to better educate him about it. Maybe this is something for you and your dh to consider?