What DO We do?
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What DO We do?
| Wed, 10-13-2004 - 2:06pm |
Just what do we do when our meds aren't working and we're spiraling down, down, for so very long and the docs are hammering out the bloodwork and urinalysis to rule out physical causes .... before they're as certain as can be that it's the depression and not disease that has removed me from life ..that has made it a struggle of epic proportion to drag myself out of bed in the afternoons because I know the kids are coming home .. 12 hours sleep isn't nearly enough ... I swear I could sleep 24 hours .. nausea, headaches .. when was the last time I stepped out of this house to do anything .. anything at all? I can't recall, actually. I don't *want* to do anything .. I want to sleep .. I do want to feel better physically (I really can't explain how bad I feel .. but I know that you all KNOW anyway).. I don't want to be feeling sick and feeling sad and feeling irritable all the time .... I don't want to be unstable .. yes, I am THAT .. oh my .... like someone switches a switch ... I can be smiling one second and .. oh nooo, somebody flipped the switch .. mad woman abounds who only wants to be alone and isolate and .. oh, how I've isolated so successfully .... got caller id even so I don't have to answer the phone .. I don't want to talk to anyone... it goes on and on .. and I can't stand it ... when is enough enough, please tell me
Denise

Must mean I'm just crazy, huh? I just want to feel better *whining*
Denise
I think at this point its time to look for a new doctor hun.
*hugs
Do you really have faith that a psychologist can help me .. even when this depression is caused by a so-called chemical imbalance? I sure hope so.
My doctor doubled my meds dosage and asked me to wait another week (it's been a week and a 1/2 since he upped them). I guess I'll try to hang in there with that. I heard that maybe this psychologist can help better with meds once I've seen him. We'll see.
Thanks for your time, Caly. I appreciate it. I'm usually the "support" to others .. but, geeeeez, this is wicked!
Denise *with a huge sigh*
I don't have a world of experience, but I can't imagine where I would be today without my therapist, well actually I could I guess, I maybe dead as I was that depressed and feeling hopeless back before I started seeing her August 2002. She did the original foundation work, then we realized I also needed a med so went on Effexor about 6 months later. For me it is the both things and my working so hard to try and change how I did things to have a better outcome in my life. I know I will always have to be on my toes that I do positive things to help me feel better.
Just as I do some type of exercise daily for my physical health, there is certain things I am going to have to do daily for the rest of my life for my mental health.
I hope you find the right help as life is too short to not have some happiness in it, hugs, Josie.
Denise -
Absolutely psychotherapy can be helpful. Even if it is a "so-called chemical imbalance". I never would have been able to make it through the dark times (of which I'm in one now) while waiting for the new med to kick in without therapy. Because I like to think of it this way. My AA sponsor told me that alcholism is a disease that tells me that I don't have the disease and that I can drink safely (which is NOT the case, but how easily I forget it). I think depression is a disease that tells me I'm a failure and will never get better and why should I because I'm not worth it.
Which brings up another point. Depression IS a disease, it is an illness, it is real (despite what others who never suffered from it may think) and should be thought of and treated as such. SO, even if the blood tests are normal, that doesn't mean you don't have a disease that can be quite debilitating. I work in the medical/behavioral health field, and I can't believe how mental illnesses are still not taken very seriously and are looked upon as a character flaw or weakness. They are not! We have a real illness. Don't beat yourself up.
Lots of hugs!
peace and love,
just_a_big_kid
Sue
peace and love,
just_a_big_kid