Seasonal Depression Advice?
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| Mon, 10-18-2004 - 10:13am |
However, this year I'm in the midst of starting a new relationship. I've known 'Joe' since May, but in August we started expressing interest in one another. We solidified our 'together-ness'. Everything has been going well...everything still is as far as he is concerned. I am more concerned about myself. (1) I have not told 'Joe' that I am bipolar. (2) I am fairly male-phobic right now due to two years of disastrous 6-8 week hit-and-run relationships. Because we were friends before we started dating, things are moving pretty quickly which is freaking me out. (3) 'Joe' has a very intense and exciting career for which he is in training right now. Chances are he will be sent overseas in the next 12 months for a 1-2 year tour. (4) I applied for the same career track some time ago (which I desperately wanted) and was turned down due to my health status. I have not told 'Joe' this either.
I am not exactly comfortable telling him about the health or job stuff at this point as we have only been together for a short time. I assume that I will feel more comfortable relaying this information when we have been together for a while and I know he isn't going to run out on me (as many other have). This will work itself out in time. The biggest problem is: How do I deal with the fact that he has the job that I wanted? I've known this about him all along (since May) and it hasn't really bothered me until the last 48 hours or so. I'm questioning if this 'envy' is a result of my seasonal affective stuff kicking which is causing job dissatisfaction (I normally LOVE my current job) and general malaise/low self-esteem or if I'm truly going to turn into a jealous beast. Perhaps it is just my current male-phobia that is causing my brain to actively search out reasons that we can't be together. Can anyone provide perspective on this or give advice? 'Joe' is truly a great guy and comes with ringing endorsements from my girlfriends, all of whom have advocated our dating since before we were even interested in one another. I don't want some personal hang-up that ultimately has nothing to do with our relationship dynamic to mess this up.
Many thanks and I look forward to reading your responses.
Cary

I, too suffer from SAD.
From the way I've been acting this fall...you sound like my reflection...! I think you are suffering from panic and phobias due to depression or SAD.
I've been going natural this last year and gave up my depressant meds. I suffered from Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, severe depression, anxiety and phobias. The meds helped on maybe 50% & the natural way is so much better...like 90%.
Because this is my first fall with the SAD & no meds I have to adjust my health supplements. Friday I started using "bright light" therapy. It's been 4 days now & it's already making a huge impact. If you are bipolar, it might actually provoke a manic episode. What behaviors make you say that you are bipolar. Maybe you are depressed with huge mood swings? (I was the 2nd)
Email me below if you want...
Linda
weaverll@yahoo.com