What do you do when the Kids are gone?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-2003
What do you do when the Kids are gone?
2
Wed, 10-20-2004 - 7:40pm

I guess I am in a position that a lot of mothers are these days. I am 44 years old. My husband and I divorced 3 years ago. I have since met a wonderful man that I wish I had known where he was 20 years ago. The problem is...my last child has just moved away. My oldest just had a baby so now I am a grandma too. My boyfriend is a truck driver. I am all of a sudden finding myself alone alot. I am not used to this at all. I love taking care of kids. I loved having children. For 20 years my life has been busy with raising kids. My live passed so fast and was so busy and now just like that, it's all gone. My kids are all I know. I have tried all kinds of things to keep myself busy..genealogy, Ebay, crocheting, working. I can't seem to get rid of this loniless for my children. I miss them terribly. I know that I did a great job as a mom because they are all doing very well.
I just can't stand it. How does someone deal with this?
My boyfriend is very busy driving and even when he is in, his dad and he work on the trucks. I am consistantly by myself. Every now and then I get the grandson for a week or two. That helps.
I am so lost.
What do other used-to-be-mothers do?

Avatar for ddnlj
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 10-20-2004 - 8:20pm

I'm 46, my only child is 18 and is talking about joining the Navy next year. I love him dearly with all my heart, but I can't wait. (Of course, my son has been a real handful the last couple of years, so that may have something to do with it) LOL

Anyway, think of this as a new door to go through. The world is open to you now. No restraints, no tie-downs. Could you travel with your boyfriend in the truck? What a great way to see the country and keep each other company. Or how about a job with children? Go to any of your local churches that offer preschool and apply to be a teacher. It sounds like you'd make a great one. What about babysitting the grandchild? Is that possible?

44 is still young, you know. Too young to give up on any and all possibilities for yourself. You still have half a life to go...and now it's your turn to do for you. You don't have to plan out your whole life right now, but be optimistic about your future and think about the things you truly enjoy and how those things might fit into your life now and in the coming years.

Know what my dream is for later in life? I want a goat farm. I want a little farmhouse with a few acres and some goats I use to help support myself through milk, etc. How's that for a plan for the second half of life? Spend my golden years with goats. LOL

Anyway, take your time and explore your options. In time I'm sure you'll come to enjoy your free time and all the possibilities it brings.

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
Thu, 10-21-2004 - 7:59pm

Hi and welcome to the board.


Im not quite in that situation yet, but I recently divorced my husband and my 13 year old son is planning to live full time with him, so I will see him but not on an everyday basis.


To be honest, I have been enjoying the freedom.

*hugs