Sad tonight

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2004
Sad tonight
2
Fri, 10-22-2004 - 8:11pm

I am new here and just needed an outlet. I just feel really down today. I moved across the country with my boyfriend over a year ago. Our relationship is strong and we are very close and I love where we live and I have a job that I love but I have no friends here and it makes me feel as though there is a void in my life. I am just so sad and lonely tonight. I have an office job and while I get along good with my coworkers, they either have families they are pre-occupied with or they just don't want friendship outside the workplace. I understand all that but it is the only place I have met new people. My boyfriend has a job where he meets all kinds of people. He works Wed-Sun from 5-12am and he often goes out with some people after work for drinks. That is fine. That does not bother me but sometimes I wish he would ask me if I want to hang out. Especially on a night like tonight when he knows I am just sitting at home. Every few weeks I will ask if it is OK if I meet up with after he gets out of work so we can hang out with his friends but I don't like inviting myself to go. I feel pathetic. I see people in their cars with their friends having a good time, heading somewhere to have fun and I wish I was one of them. I want some girl friends! I hate sitting around waiting for my boyfriend to come home. I struggled with depression of and on since I was 16 and days like today I can feel it creeping up on me, trying to take over my life again. I hear the voices in my head that tell me that I am a loser and no good. I am trying to fight all that!

Thanks for listening. Even if I don't get any replies, it feels good to get it off my chest.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2004
Fri, 10-22-2004 - 8:50pm

Hey there! I understand how you feel. I'm in my last semester of college. I transferred here as a junior and honestly I haven't made any really good "college" friends. I've become close with my roommates basically because we live together, but other than that I haven't really found anyone who I can call a best friend. Most of my friends are people I knew in high school and this is perfectly okay. But I notice that a lot of them have made new friends in addition to what we were in high school and it makes me take a look at myself and wonder why haven't I? I think a lot of it is depression and anxiety. Lately because I have this big change coming up (graduation and working), I've just become really anxious and depressed to the point where I just hole up in my room and don't feel like talking about it with anyone. I had this same kind of depression when I first moved here, and it just made me pull away from some things like getting out and meeting new people. I'm in a long distance relationship. My boyfriend is in the army and he's stationed in New York. I can kind of understand what you're feeling when you talk about your boyfriend going out without you. Even though my boyfriend is far away from me, when he does go out with his friends it just makes me feel left out. I can't really explain why, but I know that part of it just comes from that fact that I wish I had good friends here to go out and have fun with. Sometimes I feel pretty lonely. Have you ever thought about joining any sort of club or something? Maybe even joining a gym and taking some work out classes? I started going to the gym on campus here about a year ago. They offer workout classes and I think it's a good way to meet some people. It's great to find people who you have something in common with. I think, in my case, it also makes the world seem a little smaller. I am thinking of moving up to New York to be with my boyfriend. That's one of the things that makes me nervous. I want to be able to find friends and fun people to spend time with outside of my relationship. Anyway I'm sorry you're sad tonight. Just keep your head up! Things will get better! Have you ever told your boyfriend how it makes you feel when he doesn't invite you?

-Ashley

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-01-2004
Fri, 10-22-2004 - 9:19pm
Welcome and vent all you want!! It is hard when you feel alone, and even worse to feel as though you are imposing yourself on others. Maybe try and voice your concerns to your sweetie. Tell him that it hurts to not feel included sometimes. He may not realize that he is neglecting your feelings.

Good, luck and keep posting.


Sending hugs and good thoughts your way.

Take care,

Lisa-)

Co-CL Depression Support