why won't they believe me

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-22-2004
why won't they believe me
3
Mon, 10-25-2004 - 1:23pm
I'm new to this board, I usually go to the 20-something hangout, but I feel really depressed I even took the test. I thought I come here to help me with my problem. Most of it deals with my sisters it goes back to when I was a teenager. The oldest is too protective the other relates to me. However since I was young she seemed jealous of me. I often wondered why even her close friends said that to me. I don't know why. I was a rape victim when I was 15 and never relly talked to boys. I met the father of my kids when I was 16 1/2 through a friend of hers. We been together up until early this year. He had problems with my sisters I couldn't understand why and what for so I always ended up taking up for my sisters. No matter how many guys my sister's sleep the don't consider themselves sluts (i do) they done the most henious things to their men like going with their brothers, friends, cousins you name it even our own cousins. (we're native american so distant relatives is what i mean by cousins)The worst I done was kiss his best friend. Well I always thought blood is thicker than water apparently not. No matter how many times I took up for them over my man I thought maybe when the tables turn they'll do the same. Neither one did, they both tried to fight me I'm only 5'2 120 lbs. my oldest sister is 5'3 260 the other 5'7 270 several times.

Now I realize what my ex ment I wish I had listened before now it's too late I really hate them, it hurts me to say and think like that, but I do after last weekend I have no older sisters whatsoever. I being accused of messing around with my sisters man for the past 2 months because I was intoxicated at the time no one believes me except my parents. We all went out one night and I left with some friends I grew up with for a couple of hours and returned to her house to sleep it off. Upon my arrival her boyfriend lets me in I see my other sister "asleep" on the couch so I laid on the small sofa he brought me a pillow and before I knew it I was completely out. The next thing I know my sister is aking where my pants are at I thougt I was dreaming so it took a while to relize she was really taling to me. I sat up and my pants and underwear were off. I seen her man in the corner zipping up his pants and she was yelling at the both of us. I was so scared and shocke all I could do was cry because I felt like I had...a flashback of 7 years ago. She was asking all kind of questions such as how long has this been going on? Why did you do this to me? I tried to explain to her she told me she didn't want to hear it, but talked with her boyfriend in their room and he told her it's been going on for a month and a half. I was so angry and upset I grabbed knife and put it to my wrist I think my other sister knew what I was up to because she came waling in just as i grabbed the knife. Not once did my sisters ask me what happened, how I was or anything. They took his word for it even though I was crying my eyes out she even told him to apologize to me telling our other sister "see how I get treated? I do so much for her and this is how she repays me? I guess I'm nothing to her?" I couldn't believe it! I can't believe it and I won't. When I aksed my other sister what she saw, she replied "nothing just her sitting there with her pants off"

They all laid down like nothing and went back to sleep, while I was still crying at the foot of my sister I couldn't take they weren't even going to call our mom like she said she was I should of went to the police but I just couldn't go through that process again, beside the police here won't believe a girl who's been drinking all night. I know my oldest sister saw him doing whatever to me, she just won't admit to it. She's going around telling people what "I done" I'm just so depressed because she's not taling to me and will not believe me, the other is talking to me, but I no longer have that love and bond of a sister no more. I need advice PLEASE ANYONW?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-04-2004
Mon, 10-25-2004 - 6:37pm
Wow, it seems like you have been through a lot, and from what you've said, your family is not very supportive of you. You need a support system - do you have any friends who you trust and can confide in? Have you ever seen a therapist, and is that an option for you? You have a lot on your plate with 2 kids, and you need to take care of yourself and them - your kids come before your sisters.

peace and love,

just_a_big_kid

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-27-2004
Tue, 10-26-2004 - 10:22am
that is rough. i don't have any great advice, but i do know what it's like to come from a background where family is number one, and you're expected to stick by them even when they're hurting you. do you have any rape support groups in your community? maybe you can start there.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2004
Tue, 10-26-2004 - 10:54am
I know you're in a tough situation, because families should be tight and you expect sisters to be there for each other above all. But sometimes sisters don't act like sisters. When I was a teenager, I became pregnant and told my older sister in confidence. She was always partying, got drunk and told everyone all about it. When I realized how selfish she was, not being supportive of me during a really difficult time, I felt she was only dragging me down, so I cut her out of my life. We didn't speak for 3 years and I had to look for friends who had good hearts and positive minds to help me through (those friends are still with me 20 years later). My sister and I are friends again because she's grown up and changed alot, but it took a long time for me to trust her again. You must be a pretty strong person to go through all you have been through and if your sisters can't or won't be there for you, then they're not worthy of your friendship. You need to have positive people in your life. Ignore the talk - do whatever it takes to lift yourself up, build your strength, and don't let anyone drag you down with their gossip and negativity.

Peace.