Stopping treatment prematurely
Find a Conversation
Stopping treatment prematurely
| Mon, 11-01-2004 - 9:11am |
I have the biggest problem with medication. In the past I was on Effexor and Remeron, and it was really helping. But when it starts to help, I stop taking it. I don't know why but I don't want to be on medication. I guess I just don't want to think of being on medication for the rest of my life.
It's really the same with counseling. I will go for awhile and it seems to be helping, and I will tell myself that I am all better, and I stop going. I really do try so very hard to believe that I am "cured" of depression and don't need anymore treatment.
I just got my health insurance back as of today. I want to get treatment now and get better for real. But I am afraid the same thing will happen as has always happened in the past.

I can totally relate. I have been doing the same thing for 15 years.
Christine
CL
I really don't know how to come to terms with myself as a person who is sick, who actually needs help, who can't just "snap out of it". I often feel that if I try really hard, pray or meditate or take an herbal remedy or eat a good diet, or whatever, that I will one day be able to just be a normal person without medication.
I don't understand what makes me hate the idea of being on an antidepressant. When I was on them I felt amazing- like I knew who I was instead of having a dichotomy of feeling on everything- I could make decisions, I could remember things, I could concentrate. I didn't get sad for absolutely no reason. I wasn't afraid to use the phone or talk to people. I felt so good and normal and whole and of course attributed that to having "gotten over it" rather than to being on medication!