In need of hugs and hope
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| Thu, 11-04-2004 - 9:59am |
I know that what I really need is to get back to therapy, but obviously with no money, that is tough. I have tried to get help through the county, and they are less than helpful. I am proud of how well I am doing when I think of everything that I am dealing with and not ending up in the hospital, but I am afraid of how down I am feeling. I know that it will be very easy for me to just give up. I have been fighting thoughts of self harm, and though I know it is good that I haven't given in, I worry what will happen if things don't improve soon. My DH tries to be supportive, but he doesn't understand my depression or anxiety. He also is torn because his children are the cause of most of my stress. He feels an obligation to them (even though they are cruel to him, steal from us, are violent, abusive, on drugs, etc) and doesn't want to give up on them. However, I feel like if I don't remove their chaos from my life I will lose my mind. So that is just one more complication to deal with. I love the man, but are his kids worth my sanity?
I guess all I want is a little support from anyone out there. I feel very alone right now with my struggle and am hoping someone will just give me a little "rah, rah" to let me know that this, too, shall pass.
thanx for your time
sara

Anyway, just know that there are so many people here that sympathize with what you are feeling. We are here to talk or just listen whenever you need it. Take care and hang in there!
Jen
It does help to talk here. I like the fact that everyone here can relate in someway to what I am going through. It is so nice to say how I feel and not have to defend it. I don't feel like I can't do that anywhere else.
I also really try to be totally honest here, and that helps me to keep perspective on things.
thank you so much for replying, that is part of the benefit for me, knowing that someone out in the world hears me.
so thanx!