effects on ability to love?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2004
effects on ability to love?
8
Mon, 11-08-2004 - 1:24am
I was wondering if anyone could tell me about how depression might effect someone's ability to love and/or interact in a romantic relationship. I found a little bit about it while net surfing, but not a lot, so I was hoping someone here might know more about it. Thanks for any help with this.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2004
Mon, 11-08-2004 - 12:40pm
boy did you hit the nail on the head, it seems this subject has been the hot topic in the bedroom for the last couple of weeks, not to mention that i have had problems with sexual relationships since my 20's. my partner, we have been together on and off for the past 11 years (we were both married to someone else in 96 & 97) but never stopped communicating the funny part is we both suffer from mental problems, both of us have different types of bi-polar problems, and he wants sex all the time, and most of the time i can't stand the thought of it. it seems i never get turned on anymore, i am 41 suffer from severe depression, bi-polar, ms, and severe chronic pain, but for the most part i am still pretty mobile, he doesnt understand me and gets mad because i'm never in the mood? is there anyother way i can express that its not him it the way i feel, right now is is out of work, just moved in with me, i have a 15 year old daughter and a 19 year old son who is about to be a first time dad that still live at home with me too, we survive on my ssd, and min. amount of foodstamps....and why am i not in the mood? sorry to have dumped on you but good luck

mommadukesliz (liz)

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2004
Mon, 11-08-2004 - 4:13pm

Hi


I was recently feeling what you describe.

Christine

CL

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-12-2003
Tue, 11-09-2004 - 3:39pm
wow....great post. I would have to agree that depression directly affects (at least my) ability to love or at least feel love. Sometimes I think I will never be able to maintain a normal relationship because I know this will always be an issue. I can relate to the numb feeling of "i don't love them and I don't hate him".....Its like you don't anything....i would love to hear others views on this. I know for me that the right treatment lifts the numb feelings and solves the problem, but you just never know when it will return.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2004
Tue, 11-09-2004 - 4:46pm
That's my biggest fear too, anticipating the 'return'.

Christine

CL

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-12-2003
Wed, 11-10-2004 - 11:19am
I agree and understand totally.....I am just about to get engaged and I fear the same things you do. I just really can't trust myself with this big a commitment sometimes......how are we supposed to deal?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2004
Wed, 11-10-2004 - 4:48pm
If someone has the answers, I've been waiting for them!

Christine

CL

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-12-2003
Thu, 11-11-2004 - 3:05pm
If you ever find that answer please share it with me......I was crying about it last night actually. Sometimes I feel as thoughI have been robbed of basic human contentness....i feel the same way about the holidays. I just don't enjoy them like i used to....is that just because i am older or because depression or dissapointment?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2004
Thu, 11-11-2004 - 3:58pm
I wonder that too. My first bout of depression happened at x-mas when I was 17.

Christine

CL