Not doing well *triggers*

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-04-2003
Not doing well *triggers*
3
Mon, 11-08-2004 - 7:22pm
I have lost all hope. Saturday I found out my boyfriend has been cheating on me. Not just casually, but with another serious girlfriend altogether. I have no idea how long it has been going on (I went to surprise him at his place and she answered the door in her Pj's. He wasn't around). I am absolutely devastated. He won't return my calls, now. I love him so much and have given him everything. He has been telling me for the past couple of months since his mom passed away that he is in a bad place and can't be close to anyone, so not to be worried. But apparently that was a lie.

We have been best of friends for 7 years now, and he is one of the few people I have trusted completely, and bared my soul to. Nothing hurts worse than this... being pushed away and then finding out why. And not hearing it from him. I had always told him everything. Why won't he talk to me? I know it would be hard, but I have to hear it from him. I can't have the last words he said to me be "I love you"

I just don't understand. I have no purpose or nothing good I can cling to. I am here in a city all alone (I moved here for him, and now he has moved) with memories of him all around, at all the places around here. Including my own apartment!

I am not doing well. I don't know if I can get through this. I've been depressed for 3 years already. Now my hope is gone.

Seya

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
Mon, 11-08-2004 - 8:17pm

Hi Seya welcome to the board


Most likely your boyfriend is having a hard time facing you right now because he realizes what he did has hurt you deeply and he feels guilty.

*hugs             

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-04-2003
Tue, 11-09-2004 - 1:11pm
I am doing worse today. His cell phone is off and he's not answering me any other way either. I am so miserable. Part of me wonders if that girl was telling the truth or not. The thought of never getting to speak to him again makes me want to give up everything. What is the point? I did nothing wrong. He told me nothing was wrong. And now our 3 year relationship means nothing. I am questioning everything. All the good times... were they lies? I have to talk to him. I know I can't make him answer the phone, but I don't know if I can do this without something from him.

I can't even eat or sleep.

My meds are not helping at all. And I have no health insurance so I can't even talk to anyone.

I probably should just give up living.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
Wed, 11-10-2004 - 7:36am

Hey hun,


Even if you have no insurance there are Hot lines and Mental health clinics where you can find people to talk to.

*hugs