A rant... thanks for listening...

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-30-2004
A rant... thanks for listening...
2
Tue, 11-09-2004 - 7:33pm
I don't know if this is the appropriate place for this, but here goes, anyway.

I haven't spoken to my mother in about a year. We have had a very rough relationship. Goodness knows I have tried. Anyway, I am bringing my boyfriend home for a visit on Thursday, and I was hoping to see her, and have her meet him, etc.

So I finally worked up the nerve to call her tonight. She didn't sound happy to hear from me or anything. I said, "How are you?" And instead of even responding to that, she said, "Are you in town?" Like she just had to show off her knowledge that I was coming. I said we were coming on Thursday, and she said, "I know." Really flat, just like it was "Yeah, big deal." She even asked me why I decided to call. What kind of question is that? I called because I wanted her to know we were coming, and I was hoping we could see her. I asked her when she would be home and she said, "I don't know. In the afternoon I guess."

Apparently my grandmother told her. After telling me she wasn't going to say anything until I had called.

I am so upset. Why does my mother have to be this way?? I have tried, I really have. And she has not. I finally gave up, because she wasn't making any effort. She even told me point blank that she wasn't going to make any effort, and that it was all my responsibility if I wanted any kind of relationship with her. It's true I haven't called her all year, but she hasn't called me either. Not only will she not make an effort, she is absolutely trying to make this harder. I'm not asking to be close, you know. Just civil. Just acquaintances would do for now. But she has to be so difficult.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
Wed, 11-10-2004 - 7:29am

Oh I could have written this my friend


My Mother and I have had a poor relationship all my life, because I can never do anything right in her eyes.


Right now we are barely talking because I have chosen to be the adult that I am and live my life and she doesnt agree with my choices.

*hugs             

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-30-2004
Wed, 11-10-2004 - 9:22am
Thank you so much. Thank you SO MUCH. I broke down and cried to my boyfriend yesterday for an hour, but I still had to call my mother and tell her we are coming, (because we'll be there Thursday and I felt like yesterday was really the last acceptable day), and of course after the phone call I broke down and cried again. It was relieving to get all that out, but I am completely exhausted today. And I still have to clean the apartment, and pack tonight. I haven't even thought of what to pack yet. :/