Losing everything..at a loss..what to do

Avatar for legs2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Losing everything..at a loss..what to do
10
Tue, 11-09-2004 - 10:44pm
My cl-hat is off. I am at a loss as to what to do. I have no boyfriend, no money, no future, no answers relative to my illness. I am seriously considering retiring from my sport.

Brief background. I have an illness that the docs can't explain. I have muscle pain and my blood numbers are normal-ish. I have a few that are troublesome, but I am taking a supplement to fix that. The numbers have normalized but I am still having pain.

I can't give up my life long pursuit to go to the olympics. I can't wrap my brain around giving it up. It is tearing my apart. I don't know how to do this. How do I stop? How do I fix this?

I can't tell you how strong I am. I can't tell you how much pain I can tolerate. I am tough...really tough, as a competitor. Yet, I can't fight this opponent, this illness. I can't fight something I can't see.

I am alone, the guy I like is still seeing someone else. I am ready to be in a relationship, and I can't seem to find one.

I am tired of being a failure at everything. I can't even be sick right.

Whine and cheese?

Tired.

Can anybody say anything to this post? Am I just a hopeless case?

Thanks for reading and listening.

Hugs,

Lisa-)

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Tue, 11-09-2004 - 10:52pm
(((Lisa))) Don't give up your sport! I know you have been thru so much pain---but you have always kept on. You can't give up now. As for the boyfriend----well, if he's seeing someone else--then he's crazy!! The right guy will come along for you. Just be patient. I know that's easy for me to say----but hang in there! I'm sorry---I just wish there was more for me to say or that I could find the right words to help you. Debbie
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 11-09-2004 - 11:09pm
Many hugs, Lisa...I so wish that I knew what to do to help. I've never been an elite athlete, but other than that, I can really relate to what you've been going through, and it is absolutely horrible. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy, much less a wonderful, caring person like yourself.

I sent you an email, but it had my real first name (as Rose is my middle name), so I'm not sure if you realized it was "me"...I wish I had something better to offer, but I will listen and try to find out anything I can if it will help.

Hugs, and please hang in there, as impossible as it seems...just a minute at a time...things WILL change,

Rose


Edited 11/9/2004 11:11 pm ET ET by rosa444

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-1999
Wed, 11-10-2004 - 2:10am
Dear Lisa: I never even had a remote chance to even play sports in school, let alone go to the Olympics, but I hate to see you give it up if there is a chance you can still do it< IF that is what you truly want today, as sometimes what we want does change year to year.

I hardly dated until I met and married my dh at age 29, so maybe it will be that quick for you also some day.

As far as having money, I have enough to pay the pills and a few left over, thankfully since we sure didn't anticipate all these medical bills this year. But we are not rich or even upper class by any stretch of the imagination. But if you can pay your bills, I would say you are luckier than a lot of Americans these days.

I have no magic answers but know I care and I hope today finds you better. Hugs, Josie.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-03-2004
Wed, 11-10-2004 - 2:26am
(((((((((( Lisa)))))))))) I am so sorry you are hurting. I hope you don't have to give up your dream and I will send all of the positive energy your way I can spare. I have never been an athlete but a long time ago before car wrecks and shoulder injuries I liked to lift weights. I know it's not the same but I do understand how hard it is not to be able to do something you love because your body won't cooperate. My Dh was injured at work and after 20 years with the same school district they fired him because he couldn't lift heavy things. He is on disability retirement and I am on SS disability from my PTSD I have no insurance and about ten thousand dollars I owe in medical bills and I have been paying on them for three years aleady. I understand all too well how hard it is to have no money. I don't know what to say about not having a man in your life right now except what I tell my DD. When you least expect it you will meet the man that is right for you. I just wanted you to know I care.

Maureen/Mo


If this was a real life it would have come with instructions.

Maureen/Mo

If this was a real life it would have come with instructions.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
Wed, 11-10-2004 - 7:08am

Lisa right now I have only HUGS to offer


(((((((((((((Lisa)))))))))))))


I cant tell you what to do about your Sport, but I do know the cliche that money cant buy Happiness is true.

*hugs             

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-27-2004
Wed, 11-10-2004 - 8:47am

((((((((((Lisa)))))))))), you are so NOT a loser, it isn't even funny!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2003
Wed, 11-10-2004 - 10:15am
Hey babe...I know how you feel as at a loss myself right now...

but we all have each other, right?

Just wanted to hug you (((((((((((((((((lisa)))))))))))))))

Love Alanna

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2003
Wed, 11-10-2004 - 11:09am


Lisa,

I havent been around for a while and figured I would pop in and see what has been going on...

I know that you have been suffering for a long time now and well I have a question and if I offend you I am so sorry...But do you think the pain could be part of the depressive episodes that you have been having? just a thought I know that sometimes when someone is so down they exibit real pain and maybe that is why the doctors can not find what is wrong...again sorry if I offended you..

as for your sport never give up on your dreams that is the one thing that can never be taken away from any of us..dreams is what keeps us going each day of our lives weather or not you are a depressiver person..

As for the guy oh please he is so not worth your time and energy I know easier said than done ....I know what it is like to like someone and wish that they weould just open up their eyes and look at you to really see you and you know what if this guy was meant to be then he would have looked and saw you a long time ago you are too good for him weather you believe it or not it is true..

one day soon you will start to feel better you just gotta believe...

sending you tons of hugs

Erin

Avatar for mumontherun
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Wed, 11-10-2004 - 11:39am
Dear, dear Lisa,

I have also suffered from chronic pain that no one could figure out, so I know how awful it is. However, it never could have made me give up my life's dream, since I'm not an athlete. I have two suggestions that may or may not be helpful: (1) Is there a chronic pain centre at a local hospital in Philly? It's such a big city, I'm guessing there probably is. It would probably be part of a neurology clinic. I actually just wrote an article about neurological disorders, and we talked about chronic pain, which has finally been put under the umbrella of neuro disorders, so will hopefully get some attention now. (2) Can you find another way to fulfill your dream? Could you go to the Olympics as a trainer or other expert (I don't know what your field is)? My physio has been a several Olympics and Commonwealth Games to work on the Canadian team. I know it's not the same as competing, but changing your goal may be necessary to help your depression.

I am sending you great big hugs, and I hope that you feel better-emotionally and physically-very soon.

~Nicola

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-01-2004
Thu, 11-11-2004 - 5:24pm
THANK YOU!!! You all are soooooooo wonderful. It made my day and days better to see all of your kind words towards me. I am still questioning what to do. How much pain is a person supposed to eat for her sport anyway?

But I will keep trudging along. And hope I won't be a complete failure.

Hugs,

Lisa-)