I dont no how much more I can take!
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I dont no how much more I can take!
| Wed, 11-10-2004 - 4:16pm |
I don't know what to do anymore. Even though I am living in a new house and I guess I can say, with a whole new family, I still feel like I have to hide how I truly feel... Something I have always found myself doing. I know that I can talk to my mother in law or my husband about anything but I am so scared of getting hurt... And the bad thing is that I don't think they would ever do that to me! Why do I find myself still hiding behind a wall that's been up for years? Why can't I let the ones who I know that love me break it down? Last night, I talked to my aunt, (the one who my mother doesn't like) and found out something that blew me away. About 7 years ago when my mother first met my step dad and we moved into this new house (the basement flooded all the time and we had no heat) My aunt wanted to see me. My mom told her that the only way that could happen was if she paid all of the bills. Let me remind you that this was OVER twenty-six hundred dollars. Is it right for me to think that my mother put a price on my head for her own benefit? I don't mean to sound like I am repeating myself all the time and I am so sorry. But I am about to give up on almost everything...maybe even life itself...
