Lonely, no friends and denying it
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| Thu, 11-11-2004 - 3:14pm |
my lonliness hit me hard today. i came home from class, called my bf who got out of class early and is having brunch with friends and then studying with them afterwards for thier test tomorrow.
I sobbed; i felt jealous,, im at home feeling lonely w/ no one to talk to or hang out with. my bf was out having a good time and laughing and talking,, but im here alone. im so depressed about it. i dont have a group of friends or even classmates to go hang out with. i know its partially my fault because i always choose to hang out with my bf, so over time my neglected friends are no longer there.
i also have a hard time making friends, i always find something annoying about someone and not want to hang out. but now its really hit me,,, i am so lonely. no friends to call and chat with, no one to hang out with,,, just my bf. and when he's out with friends i end up being miserable. i often wish i had his life or any of his friends lives,,, they have friends, they have ppl to hang out with, the know how to have a good time.
gees, i feel like such a loser and loner. feeling depressed and lonely makes me think about how sucky my life is. i dont even know how to change things around. all i ever want to do is hide away under my sheets and just cry over how crappy things are for me.
i have a good time when im around my bf,, he's become my only source of a social life,,, and i hate it.
im so lost,, and lonley. i dont even know where to start. im not shy,, i actually talk to alot of ppl at school and have no problems talking to strangers. but i do it so often that i think im just compensating for being lonely,,, and i dont take the initiative to make these acquaintances into friendships.
this affects my relationship as well,, it makes me wonder why my bf would want a gf thats such a loser,, a gf without friends or a social life.

I think if we keep going as we are we will always be alone and then one day it will ruin your current relationship. It did mine and other things. Try and not push him away by being jealous ect. He is there for you but he can not make you like people. You will need to go and make friends I'm sure you would be a lot happier and less depressed.
I live in Alaska so it is dark over 6 months out of the year so that trickers my depression but I know that loneliness can do that too. I wish you luck. Please try and meet someone to hang out with and you have to PUSH your self because this is something only you can do.
Take care, and pls e-mail me when ever you need a friend
Bettina
Hi to both of you,
It's really tough, sometimes. I don't have any close freinds that i can see with out going long distance. i joined a ladies health club near my home, and that's where i get my chat time. i barely knew i was excersizing today- i hadn't planned to cuz of not feeeling well, but stopped by to say hi, cuz i hadn't been all week, and next the next thing
prodi_gal
When I read you post I couldn't believe how much I can relate to you! I have an 8 month old at home and both me and my boyfriend are college students. I'm finding that I've lost quite a few friends just because other 21 year olds are out having fun and not sitting at home with a baby. I don't really have anyone to talk to or hang out with and although my boyfriends great, its starting to really depress me. I used to have so many friends and be so social. Today I spent the day crying. I guess I never realized how important it was to have a social circle until I lost it.