Hi, I'm New. (Kind of Long)

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-26-2003
Hi, I'm New. (Kind of Long)
23
Thu, 11-11-2004 - 5:03pm
Hi, my name is Angela. I am almost 25, my birthday is in about a month. I go to school full time.I live with my mom, and she is controlling and always wants things her way, she also expects me to clean the entire house by myself even though she lives here, as well as my 16 year old sister. I have a son, age two. Now, the reason I am here. I am very depressed. I don't ever get to go out because my mom won't watch my son and throws a huge fit when I leave him with my sister that I don't do that either. I get really tired of listening to her and it really stresses me out. Her boyfriend will watch him, but then my mom throws a fit about that too. I only get to do that when my mom wants me to take my sister somewhere, like a school function. I have only dated three guys ever and none of them were good guys. The first one stalked me for thirteen months, and we only went out for eight months. I attempted to get a restraining order but it was denied because he never hit me and he stayed in public places when he would follow me around. During the time I was being stalked, I met, dated and married my now ex husband. He is the father of my son, but my stalker ex is still trying to find me so that he can see me and "his son"(I only have one). I left my ex husband when my son was just nine days old because he beat me up really badly. I started school when my son was about six months old, and have been going ever since. I have a pretty big group of friends, but none of them drive and my car doesn't run, at least for a couple more weeks. After almost two years of not dating, I dated this guy from school. But he dumped me after six weeks, and then told my friends lies about me. Then just last week, there were these two guys making fun of me on the bus, among other encounters. Subequently I feel like men hate me because none of them ever treat me right. I don't get to date a nice guy, ever and I wish I could figure out what was wrong with me that this keeps happening. It seems like everyone I know has a nice guy for a bf, but I don't get one. Instead I constantly get treated badly by guys. Any help or suggestions would be appreciated.

Angela ~

Angela~

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-26-2003
Thu, 11-11-2004 - 6:46pm
Bump~ Does anyone know anything that I can do to fix whatever is causing guys to treat me this way??

Angela ~

Angela~

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-02-2004
Thu, 11-11-2004 - 7:09pm
Angela,

Welcome to the board here I'm still new but I really like it a lot. It is nice to have some kind of support. I know exactly how you feel because I'm in the same boat so you are not alone. I'm almost 30yrs old 2 kids no man. I meet a lot of boys and players but not a man who can treat a woman right. I thought something is wrong with me and I still wonder if there is but it is not us. I used to model in Hawaii so it cant be the way I look and I give them all I can but nothing is enough. It is not us it is them, and I think we look for the wrong type of men. WE are attracted to all the wrong once because that is all we are used too.

Someone told me that I need to stop looking for a man and let him find me but I m not getting any younger you know. It is and always will be harder for us since we have children and in your case a child but don’t give up hope. Some where out there is a man that will love you for you. I know it is hard being lonely but just give your child all the love you have because NO MATTER what they are the once who will always be there for you on good days and bad.

When I feel down my daughter tells me “mom it’s ok I'm here I love you” that makes everything else go away. Just try and focus your energy on your child and give him all you can. Hope this helps. LOVE will find us and it will just have faith as I m waiting too your not Alone.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-26-2003
Thu, 11-11-2004 - 7:28pm
My son can't say those things, he's two. And, from the sounds of it you are really pretty. I am not, and I am not thin either. You should see the girls at school, all thin and all very pretty. They are the ones with the nice boyfriends, and I don't get one.

Angela ~

Angela~

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-26-2003
Thu, 11-11-2004 - 11:28pm
Bump ~ does anyone know what I can do to get people to stop being so cruel to me??

Angela ~

Angela~

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-26-2003
Fri, 11-12-2004 - 10:49am
Bump Bump~~

Angela~

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-26-2003
Fri, 11-12-2004 - 2:35pm
BUMP BUMP BUMP~~~~~

Angela~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2004
Fri, 11-12-2004 - 2:56pm

Hi Angela


I'm sorry you've had some turmoil in your life.

Christine

CL

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-26-2003
Fri, 11-12-2004 - 3:43pm
I am not pretty, I have facial hair that I remove when I have the time and energy which isn't often. I have very big bones, so I wear a size 16, even though my friends tell me I don't look fat. But a size 16 is fat. I am only 5 foot 4, and I weigh 195. My family won't help me with my son. I don't get to go out, ever, not even by myself or with friends. Let alone on a date. Men hate me, they treat me badly every time I get into a relatiohship, even when I'm feeling good about myself and not looking and all of that. So, why should I feel better about myself, when it doesn't work? When I do that, I get lied about, and dumped.

Angela ~

Angela~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2004
Fri, 11-12-2004 - 4:40pm

All I can offer is what I've learned through years of therapy.

Christine

CL

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-26-2003
Fri, 11-12-2004 - 5:07pm
I do what I can to look good on the outside but I believe that I am good on the inside).>>>>>>>>

This is true, but men still hurt me, it doesn't matter how I feel.

I will work at bettering myself and losing weight if that's what it takes to be happy. For now I am happy with myself as I am)>>>>>>>>

I've been working on it, but I tend to eat when I'm depressed.

What proof do I have of this?>>>>>

Let's see, I've been stalked, beat up, played, lied about and to, and had tricks played on me, all by men.

Why do they treat me badly? Do I allow them to? Do I stand up for myself>>>>

This has nothing to do with it, I don't LET them do anything, they just do it. it doesn't have anything to do with standing up for myself. And for the record, I told the stalker to stay away, attempted to get a restraining order and everything, it only made it worse.


I don't need a man to make me happy. I can be fulfilled on my own>>>>>>

Not if I don't ever get to go out and take a break, I am a single parent, and no one helps me. I noticed you didn't adress that.

Angela ~

Angela~

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