Hi, I'm New. (Kind of Long)
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Hi, I'm New. (Kind of Long)
| Thu, 11-11-2004 - 5:03pm |
Hi, my name is Angela. I am almost 25, my birthday is in about a month. I go to school full time.I live with my mom, and she is controlling and always wants things her way, she also expects me to clean the entire house by myself even though she lives here, as well as my 16 year old sister. I have a son, age two. Now, the reason I am here. I am very depressed. I don't ever get to go out because my mom won't watch my son and throws a huge fit when I leave him with my sister that I don't do that either. I get really tired of listening to her and it really stresses me out. Her boyfriend will watch him, but then my mom throws a fit about that too. I only get to do that when my mom wants me to take my sister somewhere, like a school function. I have only dated three guys ever and none of them were good guys. The first one stalked me for thirteen months, and we only went out for eight months. I attempted to get a restraining order but it was denied because he never hit me and he stayed in public places when he would follow me around. During the time I was being stalked, I met, dated and married my now ex husband. He is the father of my son, but my stalker ex is still trying to find me so that he can see me and "his son"(I only have one). I left my ex husband when my son was just nine days old because he beat me up really badly. I started school when my son was about six months old, and have been going ever since. I have a pretty big group of friends, but none of them drive and my car doesn't run, at least for a couple more weeks. After almost two years of not dating, I dated this guy from school. But he dumped me after six weeks, and then told my friends lies about me. Then just last week, there were these two guys making fun of me on the bus, among other encounters. Subequently I feel like men hate me because none of them ever treat me right. I don't get to date a nice guy, ever and I wish I could figure out what was wrong with me that this keeps happening. It seems like everyone I know has a nice guy for a bf, but I don't get one. Instead I constantly get treated badly by guys. Any help or suggestions would be appreciated.
Angela ~

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Hi Angela
Im Very Sorry if you are feeling ignored.
*hugs
I have been told repeatedly, that I am only wallowing in self pity, but it goes far deeper than that. The last time I managed to come out of my depression and acutally like my life for a while, I got the guy who lied about me to my friends after dumping me. It just feels like there is no point in fighting to get out of it anymore, if all that is going to happen is pain.
Angela ~
Angela~
Hi Angela...honey, if you are depressed, you need to seek professional help to help you deal with it...maybe a college counselor could be a start? I'm not sure if you have a doctor or not, but a family doctor is also a great start. And as for feeling ignored, don't. Its not that people don't want to help you, or respond to you, but maybe you could try a NEW post instead of adding to this already really long thread? Maybe its just not getting seen, so far down into the thread.
Your life and your happiness is willing to fight for. You're young and you have such a long way to go...you dont want to let SOME toxic people ruin your life. You don't need them!!! You only need yourself. You have to learn to love who YOU are before you can have happy, healthy relationships. I know, because I have been there many times. I'm 34 years old, and JUST NOW am I finding that I'm happy...I had to go through heck and back over and over again, and seek professional help for my illness before I came to realize that the only person that can make me happy is me. I went through lonely times...but I'm not lonely anymore. It was hard, but I know that you can do it!
I'm sorry you have problems with your mom. No matter what she says, or what names she calls you...DON'T YOU LISTEN and ACCEPT them. You are a good person, a person who DESERVES goodness and happiness. Sometimes moms and daughters really don't click. I fought with my mom for YEARS. And finally, now that she is sick, and I don't take it anymore, we have a really good relationship. Its hard to stand up for yourself when you LIVE IN THEIR HOUSE...been there done that too, with my young son. So I know that stressful that is too. Hopefully you can find the assistance you need to get your own place, and get on with your life with your child and be happy. Take everything only a baby step at a time. You can't change everything all at once. You have to focus on one thing at a time. If I were you, I'd first see a doctor, or counsellor and work on my depression first and foremost.
Hugs and best of luck to you.
Keli
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