I've given all I can...........

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2003
I've given all I can...........
12
Thu, 11-11-2004 - 7:21pm

...............and I can't give anymore:(

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Visitor (not verified)
anonymous user
Thu, 11-11-2004 - 8:40pm
HUGS Traci. That is a lot of emotional work you have to do with dealing with your father's death, taking care of your mother & seeing her fall into a drinking problem. I can see how u want to just lay under the covers. Are there arrangements u can make to alleviate some of the responsibility toward others? You need some special "Me" time. I think going to the therapist is a good idea, and also coming to this board. Please update us on how you are doing. I wish you the best :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-03-2004
Fri, 11-12-2004 - 2:40am

Traci, I am so sorry to hear about your Dad. It sounds like you have had more than your share of grief this year. I am also sorry to hear about your mom. My mom is a dry drunk but I remember very clearly what life what like when she was drinking. Do you have siblings that can take some of the load off of you? Any other family? I don't

Maureen/Mo

If this was a real life it would have come with instructions.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2003
Sat, 11-13-2004 - 12:17am

Thank you all for your hugs and comforting words.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-1999
Sat, 11-13-2004 - 3:01am
Traci: I have only been in Alanon about 13 or 14 months now, but just earlier, I was thinking, OK, if I get well enough in 2005 to end therapy with my therapist, I will stay "sane" by continuing to attend Alanon indefinitely. I have many of their books at home, start every day with several of their meditation books, just yesterday I was having some negative and jealous thoughts, and when I woke up after only 4 hrs of sleep I was thinking of Step 10 -taking my inventory daily, then the part of step 12 - sharing the message with others.

I can't begin to express how much love and help my home alanon meeting has given me, and some weeks I attend a second one too, so please, if you found comfort and help in alanon before, return and get some new serenity. And if you love to read, order some of their books online so you have it available to you inbetween meeting time.

Take care, hugs, Josie.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-01-2004
Sat, 11-13-2004 - 9:31am
Traci,

When I read your title I understood this topic completely, I am a fellow soul that has walked and is still walking down the path you are taking. My dad died ten years ago just 9 months after I gave birth to my youngest son, my mother never had a well day after that, 1 hip replacement, 2 knee replacements, heart problems, compression fracture of back, I have raised my baby in doctor waiting rooms, rehab centers and hospital rooms, I have worn two cars out taking care of things for her, and she now has lung cancer and her care became too much to handle and we placed her in a nursing home 5 miles from my home and she still thinks I should be on 24 hour notice for her needs and never lets me forget that other children are better to their mothers and that they wouldn't let their mother's be in a nursing home. The resentment I feel is overwhelming and the feelings of guilt that this decision had to be made. I also have a grown son on drugs and he has made my life h*ll. They are sucking the life out of me. I have such a love/hate relationship with them

I understand "I've given all I can.............."

There is no solutions to this all I have been able to do is one day at a time, I can't think one week ahead and I have made me a make believe world that I go to from time to time, I go to the computer and go to real estate sites far away from my home state and look at the homes, towns and schools there a think about the life I could be living if I could move there away from my mother and son and how wonderful it would be to have some peace in my life. It helps me.

You have a understanding friend in me.

God Bless.

Lynette

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2003
Sat, 11-13-2004 - 12:29pm

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Traci))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))


Sweetie,

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-01-2004
Sat, 11-13-2004 - 7:10pm
(((Traci)))) Nothing you have said is petty, we all have issues. We all have things that are huge to us. Giving will let the wind out of anyone's sails. You sound like you have completely valid reasons to be exhausted.

Give yourself some credit. You are handling a lot.

You can do it, we are here for you, every step of the way. Post whenever you need...we will hold your hand.

Sending hugs and good thoughts your way.

Take care,

Lisa

Co-CL Depression Support

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2003
Sun, 11-14-2004 - 11:04am

Thank You everyone for your continued support.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2003
Sun, 11-14-2004 - 11:42am

Yes, Traci I think it is time to focus on Traci.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2003
Sun, 11-14-2004 - 9:14pm

Thanks (((((((Trac))))))).

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